Why I Was So Unhappy PART V

I was lied to.

I was deceived.

I was told that this life was up to me. That I had to make sure that I kept up with God's exacting standards.

I was so afflicted with a sin conscience.

I had done and thought so many bad things. I had tried to maintain my own righteousness through my own efforts, and I was caught up short, so short.

I had done and said and even thought things that were so bad, and I knew that I had to pay for all the things that I had done.

I had to pay for those things!

Why did I not believe that all my sins were forgiven? I had gone to church for years, I had recited the Nicene Creed, I had prayed, I had tried to do good things. . .

I was taking my inventory, I was working the "Twelve Steps," and as long as we believe that we can earn or retain or maintain our righteousness through our efforts, then we find ourselves forever in this miasma of trying.

I was abandoned as a child, full of shame and guilt, unsure of how to get out of it.

I never wanted to feel guilty again.I never wanted to feel condemned again, but no one had ever explained to me that I felt bad because of a sin conscience.

A sin conscience based on, fomented by the Twelve Steps.

The Twelve Steps which make me responsible for my relationship with God. The Bible teaches  that I have been adopted, and I had nothing to do with it. My job is to believe and receive that I have been transformed from death in sin to alive in Christ.

The knew standing is based on Himself, Himself, and Himself. The last thing that we will do is "Let Go and Let God", but how can I let go if I think that I have to do something.

Believe on Him whom the Father has sent -- Jesus Christ!