"Why Don't You Trust Me?"

Trust is a big issue for people.

Ronald Reagan claimed: "Trust, but verify."

I believe that trust is something that must be earned: "Verify, but trust" would be the better turn of the phrase.

I grew up trying to find people that I could trust, individuals who would lead me and advise me on the paths that I should take.

Yet the leading, the prompting that every man seeks, is as simple as the Holy Spirit guiding through the Peace of Christ in us:

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (Colossians 3: 15, NIV)

Parents do their children no favors if they invite their children to run every decision by them, if they fear that by letting their kids demonstrate some autonomy in their lives, even fail, that they will suffer.

The only real suffering for many youth, in my opinion, starts and ends with over-indulgent parents who barge into the lives of their children, refusing to let them grow. Of course, parents have the responsibility and the authority to educate children about the choices that they make, a better approach than outlining for their kids at the outset what they "should" and "should not" do.

If a parent scolds and manages the child, then the young one believes that he or she is simply incapable of deciding what to do, and gets into the habit of running everything in his life by someone else. This is abuse at its simplest, and too many parents, with the best of intentions, are engaging in this damaging behavior.

I can write about this because I suffered through this drought of confusion. The way my parents would spell things out, they would either say absolutely nothing, not outlining the choices and their consequences, or they would rush in and tell me what to do, and then take up the slack if everything fell through or fell off.

I cannot state this enough to parents: there is nothing wrong with telling your kids that you do not have the answer to a problem. In fact, it's time that we impressed on youth that once they are established in God's righteousness, they can ask God the pressing questions, inquire rightly or wrongly about issues (see  Rebekah in Genesis 25). Parents can learn to cast their cares on God, including the choices that their children make. In extreme cases, of course, parents do need to take action, but the habit of butting in and undoing the decisions that their children make will either cripple them or embitter them.

"Why don't you trust me?" or "I need you to trust me." were two phrases that I heard from parents. Either statement, either approach, is not conducive to the well-being of  a child.

"Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

"For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.

"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is." (Jeremiahs 17: 5-7)

To trust in the Lrod does not have to be difficult, provided that one has learned and grows in understanding of all that God has done and continues to do for us through His Son.