Getting Away from Abusive Parents -- We Still Need a Parent

I will never forget the story that my mother would tell me.

She sat in an Al-Anon meeting for about two years. She shared with the other ladies in the group that she was having a terrible time with her own mother, a woman who had abused her much.

I have heard stories which suggest that my grandmother was very abusive to my mother, that she would go over her childhood home to meet with her mother, then she would come home and cry because of all the hurtful things that she would say.

My father told my mother that if she insisted on going to visit her mother, at least she should not take us, me and my sister, with her.

But the day finally came when she began sharing her painful upset with the other members of her Al-Anon meeting.

Then she would tell me how one of the woman then walked up to her:

"Do not let anyone get in between you and your higher power."

I used to hear this phrase over and over. She shared  this story many times, and I was convinced that she was bringing up an important principle about living a healthy life -- anyone who causes you immense spiritual trouble must be removed from your life.

Now that I look back on this event, I have begun to realize that there are a number of problems with it, and the resulting issues which caused so much grief then never got settled.

Indeed, my mother finally wrote her mother a letter, letting her go once and for all. My mom later told me that they had one more meeting in their lives, then her mother died.

Yet I can tell you that my mother did not have peace. She did not let go of her upset about her mother. Many times throughout her life, she was still talking about the terrible pain that her mother had put her through. From time to time, she would scream and yell about the things that she had gone through.

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

It's the Truth that sets us free, and a crucial element of this truth -- that in Christ we are a new Creation, in our Spirit we are made new, in our minds and bodies we may still fail, or fall short, as in the case of reminiscing about people, places, and persons who have hurt us.

I am more convinced than ever that Satan uses these memories to try to bring us into bondage, yet the more that we rejoice in the forgiveness of sins, the blood the keeps on cleansing us, then the greater the grace and truth that we receive which sets  us free!

I am outraged at the crappy program of AA, one which teaches members to keep looking at themselves, their feelings, telling them that they must take their inventory, keep confessing their sins and shortcomings. We are to reckon ourselves dead when we are slighted, we do not have to give in to those empty feelings. Not at all. Look at Jesus, people, as He transforms you from glory to glory.

Thank You, Jesus, for being the Truth that we all need!  I am still learning so much about identifying with Jesus as opposed to trying to fix "dead Adam".

Having written this part, I must share that it is not enough to "get rid of" the people in our lives who have harmed us. The lies which we have been bombarded with in our lives can keep us captive, even if we cut off the hurtful people who have done us wrong, yet if we go to the Word, we will find the Truth that sets us free, the altogether lovely Jesus Christ, we never leaves us nor forsakes us.

The other issue from that little meeting that my mother had many years ago, which I now look at from a different perspective: No one can separate us from our Higher Power. To even speak of a Higher Power is sheer nonsense, to boot. Jesus Christ is as High as it gets -- and we are seated in Heavenly places with Him! (Ephesians 2: 6)

Not only does it do us no good to cut off the bad parents in our lives, we still need a Parent, a Big D-Daddy whom we can run to whenever we have a need:

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8: 15)

I am now convinced that the only trick that the enemy powers and principalities (2 Corinthians 10: 4-5) have is to distract us from receiving this love, from growing in grace and knowledge of Him who has called us, who has sanctified us, who is moving in our lives all the more.

We still need a parent, we have this parent, and let us get to know this parent more and more!