Another Pharisee -- Mario

Then there was this guy, Mario.

This guy loved being the "elder" or "the old timer" in the meeting.

He acted as if he had it all together. He pretended to be my friend, he wanted to help me out, I am sure that he did.

Yet I was surprised that the more that I talked to this guy, the more he turned out to be one more perverted old guy who still had not grown up.

He was the type who boasted about praying for two or three hours. He was the type of person who spent so much time trying to make people see how religious he was.

He proudly bore his "Yes on Prop 8" bumper stick, and he made a stink over and over about homosexuality.

He talked about sex a lot, too. This guy was out of control on the inside, I am sure, for that is what law-keeping will do to people.

I had asked for this guy to be my "sponsor", another someone with whom I could be dependent, a guy whom I could run and call whenever I was having trouble.

I am still astonished how much this guy was like my father. He would make jokes about "Good stuff, Maynard" from the Doby Gillis show.

He told me that if things got really bad, he could just give me a bowl of popcorn. Like many men, it seemed, his highest ambition was just quelling the unrest in people so that they would stop feeling sad, and therefore he could feel better about himself.

This man was estranged from his kids, just as I was estranged from my father and mother at the time. I was so lost in the days, so unsure about anything in this life, so overwhelmed with all the problems that I was facing, and I was still convinced that I had to, that I could work hard enough to break free from the all hardships which I was facing.

This arrogance on my part took me a long time to separate from. I was still trying to live this Christian life myself, and no one had bothered to explain to me that it was not only difficult, but downright impossible to live the Christ-ian life. Christ lives this life in me, and I rest in Him so that He can break forth.

This notion of "Rest so that God Works" is lost on many Americans, who are still giving into the cult of manhood and rugged individualism, falling in line with the empty paradigm of provider and protector which those corny 1950's TV sitcoms used to glorify.

Christ gives us life, and that more abundantly, not a storybook fable with everything in nice and neat creases, with June Cleaver ready to serve a chocolate cake so that everyone will sit down and make no noise.