"The Lord Said. . ."

I grew up in a very abusive, religious household.

My mother played God in my life.

She would say "The Lord said. . ." as a means of controlling me.

As a child, I had no idea what to do or how to deal with this leading.

What was I to do? When you are a child, you believe what your parents tell you, and you never once counter with whether that person is lying to more or not.

Where did my mother get this idea that she could lead me in this fashion?

I can count many times when she would do that to me.

There is nothing more abusive than religious distortions.

My father told me that he told her to stop doing that.

Yet he was not involved in my life. He did not stand up to her to stop her from abusing me.

She was the one who  had introduced to me the Twelve Step program, as though the AA book and the program initiated within was the proper way to live.

This cult was so entrenched in her life, that she could see herself no other way. She  had stormed out of the meetings earlier in her life, yet at a trying time in my life, she insisted on putting me in the program.

That is the height of child abuse. Young members are sexually assaulted in AA meetings, true, yet the garbled religious dogma of AA is even more dangerous, even though AA claims that the program is not a religious one.

Lie.

"The Lord said. . ." dotted all too many of my decisions in my life. She insisted on being front-row center on everything which I did.

I had not understood that blessed truth of full consecration, and neither did my mother.

As long as anyone struggles with law and grace, convinced that by our efforts we live, when in truth He is our life, then we will find ourselves heeding seducing spirits and heading in the wrong direction in our lives.

My mother did that, giving into the foolish and false ideas, all of which claimed that we can conjure up our own conception of God, yet at the same time this inward manifestation of God must run through "twelve suggestions" which take a man deeper into himself and away from the truth.

So many people in my life have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. God did not send His Son to give us more rules, but to give us Himself, that He would rule in us.

I am saddened that so many well-meaning people have not learned how good God is, and they still think that they have to earn His love instead of learning about His love.

One of the terrible results of this perverse misunderstanding is religious intimidation, dotted with "The Lord said. . ."