Condemnation that Kills, Can Kill No More

Condemnation kills. It really does.

As long as human beings feel that they owe something still, as though there is some outstanding debt I their lives which they have to resolve, no man can live and thrive.

This status of condemnation kills us, sometimes slowly, and sometimes more quickly, depending on the level of shame, guilt, or reproach.

I cannot believe how normal, how natural this sense of shame and frustration hampered my walk. For a long time, I walked around in a sense of guilt and shame, as though I had to do something about every shock and sense of wrongdoing in my life.

The scenes that would play out in my mind, I had believed to be the cause of so much pain. The truth is simpler, and has set me free. Thank you, Jesus!

Growing up in a cult-like program like AA, members like me were convinced that every time we felt bad, scared, frightened, resentful, or any other negative emotion, it meant that we needed to do something about the thought, the feeling, or the unpleasant sentiment.

I have grown up with people who feel guilty about getting angry, or that living in anger is a sin. There is nothing wrong with being angry, as long as we do not sin, nor let the sun set with any inordinate wrath still hot within us (Ephesians 4: 26).

Any other unpleasant emotions, more often than not, tie to some negative thinking or untrue belief which has brought us into bondage.

One of those lies includes the notion that we must have no negative emotions within us before we discipline someone, or that we have to feel a certain way in order for God to work in our lives.

I was in bondage to all kinds of ridiculous lies, and as I see more of Jesus in the Word of God, the more that I am transformed into His likeness, one which stands for the truth, loves as God loves me, yet does not fear the reproach of man to make a stand for anything that goes wrong.

I do not have to do anything, and in fact any effort on my part to do something more is an insult to all that Christ Jesus has done in my life, as though His death on the Cross was somehow not enough.

My next post will explain the complete source of this conflict.

Condemnation of any kind, however, will drive us to fixing ourselves, to try and remove that unpleasant  sense of wrongdoing.

God has indeed provided a better way -- No, the best way: through His Son! In Christ, there is no condemnation. (Romans 8: 1). In Him, we are blessed with all spiritual blessings, and we are fully accepted, granted the same righteousness as God Himself!

We are seated in heavenly places in Christ, as well, receiving His glory and power in this life.

Now that I see the wonders of all that Jesus is and does for us, I find that one negative habit which persisted for so long is ebbing away, and now more quickly than ever.

Whenever I would get angry, or fearful, or anything else, I would start to panic, convinced that I had to do something about the unsettling emotions. For so long, I was programmed to run to someone else to ease the pain, to undo the sense of shame which other people seemingly caused me.

What a self-centered life we lead when we are caught in justifying and comforting ourselves instead of letting the Comforter do the job, and do it much better!

All those years, I was so busy trying to make myself feel safe and secure, free from any sense of reproach. I even attempted to stifle thoughts and memories simply because I did not want the sense of shame and alarm to peak afterwards, thus "blocking" the flow of God's gracious Spirit into my life.

I have since learned that our peace is not based on what I feel, and especially not on what I do, but on Jesus, and all that He has done:

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26: 3)

He keeps me in perfect peace, because I trust in Him, and this trust flows from what Jesus did for me at the Cross. If we do not rest in the truth that all our sins have been put away forever, then we will find our faith corrupted or frustrated.

Condemnation is more subtle than I had realized. When I felt afraid, the reality was that I really felt ashamed. I felt bad about the things that I did, and more importantly I felt that I had to do something about the feelings, since I was indoctrinated from youth to work an evil program to be OK with God.

Talk about living under a curse!