I Did Not See Him As Big Enough

I had to reread Psalm 139 again.

I realized for the first time in a long time, that the problem was not just sin, in the sense of what I was thinking or feeling.

The problem was that I saw Jesus as too small.

I had an idea of who He was, but we need an active revelation of who He is, not just an idea, not a figment of our imagination, but the Real Person, fully God and fully man seated at God the Father's right hand.

I was afraid of the future because I did not believe, or I had no knowledge or proof that He would be there.

God cannot prove something when He is already there.

The whole created universe speaks of God, the heavens declare His majesty.

He wants us to rest from our efforts and trust His.

The First Effort, of course, is the Finished Work of Jesus Christ.

We either believed that He did it all, or we do not. There is no mixing this message.

When I think about the fears that I had about the future, that I would be hurt or troubled or placed in jeopardy for the things that I had done or said, I realized that the issue was not that I was guilty.

I did believe that Jesus had paid for all my sins. I did believe that.

The problem was that I did not see Him as taking care of tomorrow and every other day after that.

I was reasoning from my sense and circumstance, then trying to take in God's majesty in holding all things together from there.

The truth is, that He has been in place holding all things in place since the very beginning.

God does not need our help or recognition to hold everything together.

He rests us, He keeps us in perfect peace, not the other way around.

This revelation has taken me a long time to rest in.

Now I understand further why Paul prayed for the following for all of us:

"15Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints, 16Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; 17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: 18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power." (Ephesians 1:15-19)

We need to prayer for a greater revelation of all that that He is and has been doing.

This has nothing to do with how one feels or even what one thinks on the inside.

All of this is based on the knowledge of God's Word, and taking Him at His Word:

"16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3: 16-19)

Jesus is not in our heads, or a figment of the imagination, and certainly not a conception.

If we reduce ourselves to understanding God based on our understanding, we will find ourselves more fearful than faithful, cowardly instead of confident.

I do not how to put this into words, but there is a buffer in my mind today, as though there is nothing beyond what I can think that would surprise or trip up God. There is no reason for me to wonder "what will I do tomorrow?" or "What may happen?" because He is in all my happenings, past, present, and future.

This is a big revelation, and I am so glad to have received it today!