The More that I See of Him. . .

Just the past few days, the growing revelation is too much for me not to talk about.

For so long, I was possessed with fear about being afraid, or fearful of toxic emotions and thoughts taking over in my life, preventing me from walking in peace and victory.

All of this fell from a wrong idea about God and His love for me.

I really believed that how I felt, or what I thought, could separate me from God.

The Bible could not be clearer, though:

"37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 37-39)

Yet why did I, and perhaps why do so many others, struggle?

We are trying to be saved by faith and feelings.

That's exactly it. The AA cult is obsessed with making people feel a certain way, that we have to live our lives free of anger.

For years, for too long a time, I was convinced that if I felt a certain way, I was blocking God's power and love from flowing in my life.

I really believed this nonsense.

How could I not, since I was born and raised in the AA cult?

We need to see more of Himself, not look at ourselves. We should  not be surprised about how we feel, or what we have fallen into, or what we are going through. The greater our understanding of much God has sent us free from all sin, and that He is our life for all our needs.

For me, the problem was not the God was not good, but that He was not big enough. The more that I see of Him, the greater that He truly is, and that no matter what I may feel, or what I am going through, He is not going away, and I cannot drive Him away.

Thank you, Jesus!

The source of bondage for me, for a long time, though, was that every time I got angry or hurt, or when I had painful memories, the memories were painful because of the fear and shame attached to them, that they were separating me from God the Father.

Yet nothing, not one thing, can separate me from the God the Father, and God is greater than our yesterdays, todays, and our forevers. He is moving in us, and is not dependent on our working a program, or following certain steps.