I have learned so much about the true identity which I have in Christ.
From the moment that I believed in my heart and confessed out of my mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, I was taken from dead in trespasses to seated in heavenly places.
I received a new life, a new identity, a new citizenship, a new way of walking in the world.
At the time that I was saved, however, I did not know anything about this wonderful wealth of blessings which I had received.
Yet the Bible could not be clearer:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:" (Ephesians 1: 3)
We have been blessed with all spiritual blessings because we are no longer dead in Adam, but now in Christ, and through Christ we keep receiving God's abundant grace and never-ending gift of righteousness (Romans 5: 17)
We are dead to sin, we are alive in righteousness, and thus condemnation of any kind has nothing to do with us (Romans 8: 1)
As soon as I got saved, though, I found this life frustrating and difficult. I was also plagued with a deep-rooted sense of depression and fear, not quite sure as to what I was supposed to do now that I was saved. I believe that God had some plan for me to follow, but I had no idea what the plan was, or how to do it.
No one had told me about the rich and righteous inheritance which I received. No one, not even the evangelist who had preached to the Gospel to me, had informed me that I had a new life in Christ, and that Christ was committed to doing and being all things for me, through me, with me.
He is my life (Colossians 3: 4), and He has prepared the way in truth for us (John 14: 6)
Why did I not know or believe these wonderful truths?
The cult of Alcoholics Anonymous.
As long as we subscribe to any human tradition in order to establish ourselves, like AA, we are making light of what Jesus did at the Cross.
He has perfected us forever because of His sacrifice at the Cross (Hebrews 10 14)
Through the New Covenant established in His blood, the following promises break through for us:
"For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.
12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8: 10-12)
The enforcement clause rests on our rest -- in that we believe that all our sins are put away forever through Jesus' blood, which speaks blessed things on our behalf (Hebrews 12: 24)
I did not know any of these wonderful promises. Furthermore, because I was practicing the AA cult, which had been taught to me as a child, I knew and lived the fearful looking after of judgment which the writer of Hebrews warns us about (Hebrews 10: 26)
If we do not accept that Jesus has paid for all our sins, the chronic sense of foreboding and fear will never leave our lives.
This chronic pain and anguish was featured all too prominently in my life. At every period of life when I felt such crushing pain, fear, and guilt - lo and behold, AA was in the background, and the Twelve Steps was ever-present as the only way to break free of the problems in my lfe.
Yet the Twelve Steps were the very source of pain and condemnation to begin with!
Yes --- the shame and fear that I felt for an entire year. I was walking like the living dead through life, convinced that the bad thoughts and words which I had thought or said would come to haunt me. There was never a sense of relief for me.
I was so traumatized, I did not want to get out of bed in the morning.
The more that I called friends and acquiantances connected with the Twelve Steps, the worse that I felt. They were just as lost as I was. They were just as frustrated as I.
When I read in the Bible about all the sins being put away and paid for, when I read in Isaiah 43 that I was redeemed, and that I belonged to God, I still struggled in my feelings.
"Why do I not believe this?"
I still asked this question, and the painful nightmares of days, weeks, and months when I felt so alone in the world would still haunt me.
The pain was just so much for me. I thank God for His grace and mercy that He did not answer the flippant, unreasonable prayers of that time. "Take away this pain!" I would cry out.
I have since learned that I am alive in Christ, and thus dead to sin, to the flesh, and have not further truck with shame, guilt, or fear. Those feelings, those thoughts are not me.
Where did I get the idea that I should identify with my thoughts and feelings, and moreover do something about them in the first place?
AA.
Damn this evil cult!
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