I Was Hooked on Feelings

Oh, what a wonderful revelation this is for me!

One verse which had brought me great comfort for  a while:

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26: 3)

I used to think that perfect peace had to do with keeping my mind stayed on Him.

My understanding of God was too small, in large part because I did not believe that He had paid for all my sins, and that He remembers (present tense!) my sins no more (Hebrews 8: 12).

In AA, men and women never rest in this blessed assurance because the program and the cult-like secretaries of AA meetings tell people that they have to keep taking their inventory, keep going to meetings, keep taking their inventory, and other religious acts so that they do not drink, smoke, or engage in any other unseemly habit.

We do not need a program of action to break free of painful addictions and bondages.

The gift of righteousness takes us out of our dead Adam selves and brings us into Christ, that we may reign in life through the twin gifts of righteousness and abundance of grace.

When we keep receiving the gift of righteousness in Christ, which means that we are accepted before God, we need never fear punishment at His hand, that He will bless us and keep us in all that we do because we are in Christ, then we need never worry or live in terror of anything:

"14In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee." (Isaiah 54: 14)

Righteousness has nothing do with feelings, but rather with truth, and the truth which sets us free is that Christ died for us, for all our sins, and that through Christ we receive His righteousness, and we sit in Christ at the right hand of God the Father.

I am not my feelings. I am not my past, and I am not defined by what I said or did or thought.

We are defined by Adam or Christ, and nothing else

We are dead in Adam or alive in Christ. Who we are and what we do flows easily from there.

As long as I was convinced, however, that what I was thinking or feeling could block Christ from working in me and through me, as long as I did not know or understand the new standing which I have received in Christ, and as long as I did not understand that now only were all my sins forgiven, but that through Christ's death on the Cross, sin in the flesh was also condemned, then I could have  no peace.

The finality of the Cross is a necessity, not a nicety, for life and that more abundantly (John 10: 10)

Yet as an adherent to the Twelve Steps and Alcoholics Anonymous for so long, as though the program was a mainstream means of making the Christina life real in my life, I found myself struggling more than ever

When we do not believe that all our sins are forgive, we cannot grow in our knowledge of God the Father. Just as we avoid people to whom we owe a massive debt, so too we will not feel comfortable, let along come boldly before God the Father, as long as we believe that the sin debt has not been paid in full.

God has provided us the best plan through His Son Jesus. He died for us, He died as us, and He wants to live through us as He is for us and with us in all things.

Still, I was hooked on feelings. I needed to feel that God was with me, and so I would focus so much on myself, making sure that my thoughts did not stray one way or the other. Imagine a life where I was placing so much confidence in my flesh. Imagine a life where the thoughts, and by extension the feelings, would determine whether I was close to God or not.

The whole affair drove me to the mental ward!

In fact, I have learned that those individuals who remain living members of AA do so only through the help of psychotropic drugs. The depression, anger, and anxiety which plagues the "old timers" in AA meetings should shout at every champion of AA that the program does not work at all.

I was hooked on feelings for so long, and now I know the truth which sets me free, Christ and Him Crucified, that through Him I am safe and sound forever, never having to fear that He will leave me or forsake me, since His blessings His presence in my life have nothing -- nothing! -- to do with me and everything to do with Him and all that He has done at the Cross.

Because He is taking care of everything, because He holds the world together, and because He holds me in the palm of his hand in all things, I can rest in him, and I no longer have to think about everything else, since everything depends, or rather stays on Jesus!