No More Bitterness Against Mom, Dad (or Anyone Else)

"For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins." (Hebrews 10: 2)

We cannot keep working steps or doing religious duties in order to purge from us a sense of guilt and shame.

Because of all that Jesus did at the Cross, we are called no longer to repent from sin, but rather from dead works:

"Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God" (Hebrews 6: 1)

and then

"How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" (Hebrews 9: 14)

Sin is not going away as long as we walk around in these bodies.

We will get new bodies, but in the mean time, we are called to rest in the grace of God, and recognize that Jesus died for all our sins and condemned sin in the flesh, as well:

"1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." (Romans 8: 1-4)

I had to take another look at Hebrews 10: 2.

Because of what Jesus did at the Cross, there is no more conscience of sins:

"14For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified." (Hebrews 10: 14)

We have  a perfected standing in His righteousness before God the Father because of His Son.

Now, part of recognizing the blessed wonder of His grace is that He covers not just my sins but the sins of the entire world:

"1My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world." (1 John 2: 1-2)

I was angry for a long time at my parents, and sometimes the anger rises up from time to time.

If they had taught me the Truth who sets free, if they really believed in the Truth of the Gospel, then all of those terrible things would not have happened to me. . .

The fact is, that none of us come to God in our own efforts to begin with:

"I am sought of them that asked not for me; I am found of them that sought me not: I said, Behold me, behold me, unto a nation that was not called by my name." (Isaiah 65:1)

and

"And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father." (John 6: 65)

and

"Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." (John 15: 16)

Now, in case you may think that this grace is only for some, and that God has figured out who would believe, and who would not (a faulty understanding of predestination), consider this verse:

"11For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; 14Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." (Titus 2: 11-14)

So . ..

I was bitter toward my parents because "they" had kept from hearing the truth.

Yet the truth is that the Bible has always been in my hands. The truth also remains that everyone of us is dead in Adam and needs to be made alive in Christ. We cannot blame our initial parents, but the blame starts with Adam, and even then we have no excuse for being bitter, because Jesus has brought us something much better which we do not have to work for at all:

"15But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. 16And not as it was by one that sinned, so is the gift: for the judgment was by one to condemnation, but the free gift is of many offences unto justification. 17For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ." (Romans 5: 15-17)

If we are blaming someone else for our setbacks and problems, we are basing these arrogant assertions on two things:

1. They did something to prevent us from being saved.

2. We can do something to save ourselves.

Both assertions are completely wrong.

Bitterness comes from a lack of grace in our lives, and grace is not something that we can earn at all.

God warned his people Israel against worshipping other gods, which would breed bitterness:

"Lest there should be among you man, or woman, or family, or tribe, whose heart turneth away this day from the LORD our God, to go and serve the gods of these nations; lest there should be among you a root that beareth gall and wormwood;" (Deuteronomy 29: 18)

and then

"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;" (Herbrews 12: 15)

How do we fall from grace? Not when we sin, but when we try to justify ourselves:

"Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace." (Galatian 5: 4)

In other words -- dead works, and these dead works are put away in Christ.

Why should I be bitter? Christ Jesus makes all things better.

Believe me, though, this lesson has taken me longer than I would like to learn. Thank God for the grace of God. All the sins of the world are put away, and I do not have to do one thing to put an end to the hurt and the pain of what my parents, or anyone else, did to me.