Celebrate Recovery, I thought, would be better than the regular, secular AA meetings. I mean, I was not going to settle for any "higher power", but for Jesus Christ Himself.
Boy, was I wrong. The members of Celebrate Recovery were more judgmental, more gossipy, more vindictive, more full of shame.
Could it be otherwise? The whole thing is a mixed message. God gives us unconditional love and grace through His Son's Perfect Work, but we have to confess our sins and work a program in order to keep this unconditional love and favor in our live. If I have to work to keep it, then it was never unconditional to begin with!
Let's take in its fullness Paul's glorious declaration:
"For I am persuaded,
that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor
things present, nor things to come,
"Nor height, nor
depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of
God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39)
Nothing -- not one thing -- but we have to rest and believe this -- yet we cannot rest if we keep taking our inventory, trying to finish the Finished Work!
It is on this wise that I recall implicating the folly of this program with two people who were still knee-deep in meetings, in sponsorship, in taking their inventories.
The Monday night meetings had their fun, for a while at least, but the shine, the "Pink Cloud" wore off after a little while, as it always does. I found myself rehashing a whole bunch of sins, not knowing which sin that I had committed in the past was still affecting me today, causing me to still struggle with my hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
Today I rejoice because Jesus was hung up for my hangups!
Yet week after week the members of small groups and the general meeting, getting all hung up on what Jesus has already paid for!
After nearly a year of meandering around in that program, after suffering one slight after another, after seeing no victory in my life, I walked out of the Friday afternoon meeting, never to look back.
It was not easy. I could not believe how hard the members of the meeting kept trying to make me come back. I got at least three phone calls within two days from members who wanted to know how I was doing.
"I just want you to know, Arthur, that I love you and I am praying for you." God, I felt sick to my stomach, as if their love had made any difference in my life. I felt picked on, abused, frustrated, and in one case humiliating by one member who could not rub two days of sobriety together, yet felt justified to judge me and others on what we said and done. The law in any way, shape, or form, creates impoverished Pharisees, provoking people who make you feel worse once the meeting ends!
The fact that I was getting so many calls, almost pleas for me to return, indicated to me that I was doing the right thing for once!
I never felt so good quitting something that was so bad -- I celebrated my immediate recovery from "Celebrate Recovery"
From time to time, I would see some of the members from the meeting who were most likely still "going back". They did not look any better, still down and out. But I am glad that I could get away as soon as I did.
Fast forward a year later -- and I saw one of the younger members from the program. I was eating at a local fast-food restaurant. He sat in the table right in front of mine, but at the first glance I said nothing.
I recalled some of his story. He had been married once before and divorced, and he was younger than I was. He had been a teacher like me, he had faced the ups and downs of the teaching profession, and he was also a tutor, just like I had been in those days.
Then he turned around, greeted me. We started talking a little, then one of the group leaders came by, laughing all the way. He had a distinctive laugh, one that made people cringe and smile at the same time. Anyone would know that he was coming within a split second of hearing him laugh.
We started to talk about what we had all been up to over the past year. I was starting to burn up on the inside, though, frustrated at what a bankrupt program the whole mess had been, sitting in those meetings for weeks and not getting any better.
Then I just told them the truth unequivocal:
"I'm glad that I stopped going to Celebrate Recovery. It was a program that was going nowhere fast, and I was not getting any better."
The older guy, the one with the funny laugh, went from smiling to frowning. Then I really let them have it:
"You guys are holding people back! You are not letting people grow up!"
The older guy became visibly offended. "What are you saying, then? Are you saying that J. S. -- the leader of the meeting -- is not doing any good for anybody?"
I could not believe what I was hearing. He was defending the leader of the Celebrate Recovery Program as if she was God Himself! That woman did not die for my sins, and her program was neutralizing the power of the Cross by telling people that they had to " X-Y-Z" to stay recovered.
The younger guy, the one who had been divorced, then spoke up:
"You know what, you're right! We have been talking about this issue in the last few meetings. . ."
"Well, that's great and all -- but what are you going to do about it?"
The two had little to say after that, then they walked away.
I did not say what I had to say perfectly, but I said it nonetheless, and I was glad to do it.
There is a big problem in the Body of Christ, where men and women are afraid to provoke one another to walk in the good works which God has already prepared for us beforehand and called us to walk in.
About six months later, I returned to the Celebrate Recovery Meeting to share what I had been learning about the fullness of the Gospel -- how Christ's death was not just to forgive us of all our sins, but also to grant us His life, that He could live through us!
A few of the newcomers were glad to hear what I had to share. Some of them could not believe that righteousness, perfect standing before God, has nothing to do with them, but is a gift that God keeps on giving!
I also recalled that the two men whom I had confronted six months prior were no longer going to the meetings. In fact, not many people were going to the meetings at all! The membership seemed to drop to very few people altogether!
I confronted this delusion long ago, and I would gladly do it again! I hope and pray that more people in the Body of Christ learn that they are already recovered, that there is no need to keep trying to work a program and earn what God has already freely given to them!
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