How often do people in the AA meeting hear that they have to stop being self-centered?
Much of the time, the focus is on getting out of one's pride, away from "ego", to stop focusing on oneself so that members of AA can help each other.
Frankly, this exhortation away from self-centeredness makes people more self-centered.
Men and women who are trying to break free of alcohol addiction end up focusing on their thoughts and feelings even more. Instead of drinking, of course, these individuals drink excessive amounts of coffee, eat pastries to know end, and they talk about themselves and their problems at length in the meetings.
We cannot break free of ourselves through a program, and the pressing need to for a higher power "as we understood him" is outrageous in itself.
Our conception of God will inevitably reflect ourselves, since this concept draws from our experience.
How can anyone not be self-centered, then, if the very high power which people rely on remains a manifest of oneself?
What does self-centeredness really mean, anyway?
All of us have to pay attention to ourselves, whether we are caring for our bodies, our attending to any other needs in or lives.
There is indeed something very wrong with a person who does not watch his health, maintain his wealth, who has no regard for himself.
No matter how confused I had become on this issue, I still heard and repeated this mantra of being drawn away from self to be of service to others.
So, I worked with other people, I kept working the program, I helped others as much as I could.
But the quality of life which I was looking for, I still did not have.
I found that I was still struggling with all kinds of issues. People still could make me mad. I did not have the time and energy to do the things that I wanted to.
There never seemed to be anything worth doing, anyway.
Still, I was focused on myself, even when I did not want to be focused on self.
So, what does it really mean to be self-centered?
There is more to it than just thinking about yourself.
To be self-centered means to be just that -- centered on self.
If you wake in the morning convinced that everything in some sick way depends on you, then you are self-centered in the truest sense.
If everything that you do is geared to supplying some emotional need in your life, then you are self-centered.
Most people do good deeds not because they care, but to find a cure for their apathy, frustration, boredom.
The emptiness in all too many people's lives begins and ends with the focus on self.
Oh, how I suffered with this terrible malady.
I woke up every day convinced that as long as I felt of thought or did things a certain way, then I would be A-OK.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The notion of rest, the idea that every issue did not have to be resolved at the end of the day, was foreign to me. I wanted all my problems fixed. I would not be content until the content of every issue had been contained, if you will.
A life based on feeling good, being at peace with myself through my efforts, dominated all too much.
A life driven by feelings instead of the truth, a life based on starting and finishing everything in and of oneself -- such a life manifests self-centeredness.
You and I did not create this world, and we do not exclusively create our experience, either.
At its most simple, the notion of "self-centeredness" means that a person believes that everything revolves around him, depends on himself, cannot be resolved without his aid or say-so. Our thoughts and feelings inform our reality when we are self-centered, instead of being Christ-centered.
I cannot write this enough -- to be "God" centered when speaking of some generic deity is not enough. For to the degree that we rely on our limited conception of God, to that extent do we inevitably trust in our own efforts, weak and beggarly. and forfeit the glorious goodness of God Almighty revealed to us through His Son Jesus.
Christ-centered is the calling, for everything is centered on Him.
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