The first appearance of "consciousness" or "awareness" appears here:
There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since.
My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability.
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. (AA, pg. 13)
This man's consciousness, or awareness, if one insists, was flawed from the beginning:
"I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him."
What does that mean? What was Bill's understanding of God, then? The Truth of who God is, how He is revealed in the Bible, excels beyond our mere human knowledge:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my
ways, saith the LORD." (Isaiah 55: 8)
and
"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or
think, according to the power that worketh in us" (Ephesians 3: 20)
The issue is not understanding, but faith, belief:
"Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just
shall live by his faith." (Habakkuk 2: 4)
I cannot trust a "God of my understanding", because my understanding is too limited. This falsehood is the first of all too many in the AA program. Everything is reduced back to the thinking and the feeling of the person, which brings people into further bondage.
I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since.
"I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing."
Bill writes "I" twice -- if we are nothing, then we need something much greater, do we not? A god of my understanding is not enough, because it's based on "my understanding" as opposed to His Word.
I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch.
No man can face all of his sins. Even David had more sense than that:
"Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults." (Psams 19: 12)
I have not had a drink since.
This phrase is a whopper, if that he pretends to have led a sober life aferwards. He was clamoring for alcohol at the end of his life. Sober, indeed.
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within.
This is laughable new-age nonsense. "God-consciousness" means what, exactly? These loose terms which mean very little end up leading more people astray rather than imparting to them the Truth who sets them free.
Forget "God-consciousness". It is not enough to know that "God is", but we must believe that God is love, and that He loves us:
"Herein is love, not
that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the
propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4: 10)
and
"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he
that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." (1 Johnn 4: 16)
To know and believe the love that God has for us, we must believe that Jesus Christ is the mercy seat for all of our sins. Many Christians do not believe this, as they keep confessing their sins, convinced that they must do something to restore fellowship to God, when He has already promised, in the Old and the New Testaments:
"For I will be merciful [lit. propitious] to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their
iniquities will I remember no more. " (Hebrews 8: 12)
It is not enough for us to believe that God has taken our sins away, as Bill W. suggested. We have to know and believe that all of our sins were paid for at the Cross. Otherwise, a lingering fear of judgment hovers over us. This love is perfected in putting us in Christ, identifying us with Christ:
"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of
judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. " (1 John 4: 17)
When we believe that Christ's Finished Work has paid for all our sins and transformed us from dead in our trespasses to alive in Him, then we need never fear again:
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath
torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4: 18)
It is not enough to have a "God-consciousness". We are called to walk, to abide in His love, that all of our sins are forgiven and that He has given us His Son, Jesus Christ, who comes to live in us:
"To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this
mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:" (Colossians 1: 27)
Who needs an "awareness" of God, when God offers to live in us and guide us? Bill W.'s "program" is weak tea, fraud and folly.
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