AA, Sin Conscience, and Assertion

I often wondered I was so easy to upset.

Sometimes, I would rehearse in my mind the wrongs that people had done to me; often, though, I would rehearse the times in my life when I told other people off, when I laid "the smackdown."

Why was I not afraid at certain points of my life, when I would tell people off or assert myself, but at other times I was so overwhelmed with fear, that people could "mess" with me, and there was nothing that I could do about it?

I realize now that in the "good situations", I was not thinking about myself. When I was upset and unable, I was thinking about myself, with the internal "what do I do?"firing off in full force.

Focusing on ourselves is more precisely our sin nature, the sense that the world revolves around us, that we are on our own in this world, that who we are depends on what we feel or what we are thinking at any time.

Jesus came to deliver us from sin, death, hell, the grace, and the law:

"13And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; 14Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; 15And having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it." (Colossians 2: 13-15)

We are no longer law at all, with its ordinances which only condemn us:

"But if the ministration of death, written and engraven in stones, was glorious, so that the children of Israel could not stedfastly behold the face of Moses for the glory of his countenance; which glory was to be done away:" (2 Corinthians 3: 7)

Not only does the "ministration of death", the law of Moes, minister condemnation (2 Corinthians 3:9), but its glory did not last, destined to be done away with:

"In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away." (Hebrews 8: 13)

Yet in AA, men and women are taught to keep taking their inventories, to keep looking at their sins, or "their defects of character." In the program, members have to watch out for fear and resentment, as if are watching out for them will prevent them from popping up in our lives from time to time. The answer to fear and resentment is not in what we do, but all that Jesus Christ has done at the Cross:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4: 18)

This perfect love starts by cleansing us from all sin, then makes us sons of God. As Christ is, so are we in this world (1 John 4: 17).

What does God's love have to do with fear, standing up for oneself or to another person, or assertiveness?

Recently, I have discovered that when I was about to hold someone accountable for something, a sense of fear would definitely take over. I wondered how everything would play out. Would I get in trouble? Would the person do what I asked them to do? All of these questions focused too much on myself. The perfect love of God draws out of ourselves and causes us to rest in His grace. The same God who died on the Cross for us is the same God who unconditionally loves us and blesses us in all that we do.

This love, this righteousness we cannot lose, no matter what we say or do.

With this firm love established in us, we no longer have to deal with hurt feelings, we no longer have to suspect if people are out to get us or if they are for us. Much of the time, I was so afraid of the reproach of man, or that maybe it was me, not the other person, who was affecting me.

This kind of debate would go on within me for so long.

Only recently have I learned that Jesus' death on the Cross not only took care of my sin, but also of the "sin conscience" which weighs on every son of Adam:

"Which was a figure for the time then present, in which were offered both gifts and sacrifices, that could not make him that did the service perfect, as pertaining to the conscience; " (Hebrew 9: 9)

In other words, the sacrifices of bulls and goats could never give the forever-assurance that a man was totally forgiven and justified before God, since he had to keep offering animals:

"For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins. " (Hebrews 10: 2)


Yet in Christ's once and for all sacrifice, we are perfected:

"For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified." (Hebrews 10: 14)

When we know and believe in His love, then we can receive the gift of righteousness and grace altogether (Romans 5: 17). Therefore, we do not worry about being easily provoked or keeping a record of wrongdoings. We rest from all our own labors, receiving His grace, letting His life flow in us. We allow the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts (Colossians 3: 15), as we are no longer focusing on ourselves, but instead we set our eyes on Christ, seated at the right hand of the Father, our high priest and justifier, and we reckon our fleshly bodies dead (Romans 6: 14; Colossians 3: 4) that His Spirit may live and lead us into all holiness, tranforming us from glory to glory.

So, instead of AA, which forces its members to keep focusing on themselves, and their feelings and their thoughts, we are called to rest and receive Himself, Christ and all of His glory, who lives in us and ministers to us righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. Now we can know and believe that what we do will not hurt our fellowship our jeopardize our standing before God, since we never did anything to be made righteous, anyway. We receive this grace as a gift (or it would no longer be grace!)

We can then respond effectively in all conflicts, no longer caught up in ourselves, instead letting the grace of God work abundantly within us (1 Corinthians 15:10)

Since we no longer have to defend ourselves, since it is the grace of God which defends us, blessing us even when others would do us harm (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10), we find that His peace leads us to say all that we need to say, whether for good or for correction, in all circumstances, and the responses or the reproach of men cannot set us back, for all of our good comes from above, from the Father of Lights (James 1: 17)

We are no longer trying to protect ourselves, for God is our all in all, and His grace teaches us to rest in place while He moves in and on and for our behalf in all things (Titus 2: 11-12).

AA awakens sin conscience, a sense of "wrongdoing" within us. Christ came to fulfill the law, take away our sin, and grant us "righteousness conscience" through His Holy Spirit (John 16: 8-11).