Free me from the bondage of self, that I may better do thy
will.
Working twelve steps, confessing one’s sins, going through
the motions of doing good works for others – none of this can deliver us from
the body of death which keeps us in bondage.
We need to be delivered from self into a new life entirely!
It’s not enough to get rid of self – we must also get
receive Himself!
And Himself is about Him giving us all of Himself:
"When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with
devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that
were sick:
"That it might be
fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our
infirmities, and bare our sicknesses. " (Matthew 8: 16-17)
"Himself" took it all. And in the Word, when Jesus met with Cleopas and wife on the road to Emmaus:
"And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the
scriptures the things concerning himself." (Luke 24: 27)
We cannot help but see ourselves as nothing in the presence
of one who gave Himself for us:
"He that spared not
his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also
freely give us all things?" (Romans 8: 32)
I was so caught up in being self-centered, I wanted not to
be self-centered.
The problem with self-centeredness is that you end up being self-centered all the more in trying not to be self-centered. Hence the drama that Paul found himself in:
"For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do." (Romans 7: 19)
Like many people, I fond myself looking at my feelings as the final arbiter of truth and peace in my life, yet feelings inevitable connects to what we are doing. It focuses on us all over again. When we look at our thoughts, we
get depressed and frustrated because we are identifying with our flesh instead
of with His Spirit.
Faith is about resting in the truth of all that God has done
for us through His Son Jesus Christ.
Consider once again the new Covenant:
"For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
"And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.
"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8: 10-12)
We rest because the New Covenant has nothing to do with us. Notice how it's all God: "I will. . .I will. . .I will" –
the moment that we falsely believe that we have to do something in order to
access this grace, then it is no more grace, and we in fact frustrate the grace
of God in our lives!
I am learning that resting has nothing to do with me –
that’s why it’s rest – resting from my efforts to get anything done. The moment
that I believe that I have to “do something” in order to rest, then I am doing
something, and thus I am not resting.
It seems confusing at first, mostly because of those of us who have been raised on AA for so long, we have grown introspective with taking our inventory and talking about our feelings all the time. We do need to freed from the bondage of self, but we cannot do that ourselves! A belief in a "God as I understand Him" is not adequate either, since "self" is all caught up in our understanding of God. Paul explained how he received the Gospel:
"But I certify you,
brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.
"For I neither
received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of
Jesus Christ." (Galatians 1: 11-12)
Christ is not a teaching, not a set of ideas, not a way of living, but God in the flesh, and Life itself for all who believe and are willing to receive Him!
Our life is hid in Christ, therefore let us rest in our new identity in Him, who sets us free (John 8: 36).
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