The Perfect Peace of Christ

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)

The revelation of God's love for me just gets richer and richer.

He is ever-present, going nowhere. His life and presence in and around me has nothing to do with me.

It has everything to do with Christ Jesus, and what He accomplished at the Cross.

The New Covenant which He enacted ensures that nothing will separate me from the Love of God the Father.

Nothing.

"37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39)

and

"5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13:5)

The days of depending on my own efforts are over.

I no longer have to wonder if God is on my side or not.

Paul the Apostle really could not have made it any clearer:

"31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

That "if" is a mere supposition which lays the groundwork for everything else that Paul expounds upon.

He is for us, because of what Jesus did for us at the Cross.

Paul continues:
"32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32)

We must esteem what Christ Jesus did for us at the Cross. If we do not esteem His sacrifice, then every other promise which God our Father has made for us is tenuous at best.

"33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth." (Romans 8:33)

It does not matter what the world throws at us. It does not matter what anyone says about us. It makes no difference what anyone has to say about us. No matter how great or small the person may be, it is GOD who justifies us!

"34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us." (Romans 8:34)

Jesus intercedes on our behalf at the right hand of God the Father, and no one can undermine us. No one can undermine our perfect standing.

What is different, what is changing for me today, after all those years of reading and remembering those verses, is that God is now clearly so present to me. For the longest time, I used to think that I had to conjure up His presence in my life. Today, I recognize Him as stark, alive, vibrant, loving, inescapable for all of His beauty.

He's alive, and He cares for us. He is at work, and He asks us to rest in Him.

All of this is so new, so vibrant, so wonderful to me. He asks us to believe Him. He asks us to look at Him, not at ourselves, not at our circumstances, not at our adversaries, not at our circumstances. Look at Him, and see Him who has been from the beginning!

Thank you, Jesus!

You Have Taught Me What To Do With Fear

Over the last week, I have dealt with an interesting set of new challenges.

I find that many people were running to me with a number of fears, a number of concerns, and they were coming at me in repeated fashion.

People were sharing their upsets, their concerns at great length, and I found so much of it simply tiresome.

There have been currents of winds and rains against me.

I see why faith is so important, in that we look at Jesus, not ourselves, not our circumstances.

I have been through some interesting trials in the last few days, but it's OK.

I know that Jesus, my Redeemer, lives and makes intercession for me.

When I felt upset or worried, I used to run to someone else.

Today, I recognize that I can simply put my trust in You.

Jesus is there! He is not "somewhere else" at all!

He promised it!

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13:5)

And what does Peter advise to fellow believers?

"6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)

For the longest time, I would "just cast my care" by saying something,

Today, I recognize that Jesus is ever present. I recognize that my loving Father. It's easy to cast my cares on you!

When I am worried, the answer is not to allay other people's fears. It's not OK for me to cast my cares on someone else. It's all about casting my cares on you!

Just go to you! Just go to the LORD! When I struggle with fears, the answer is to keep looking at Jesus!

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

AMEN!

Resting More In His Never-Ending Favor and Presence

This revelation is so powerful, much like understanding how God my loving Father still loves me, no matter what I am feeling or thinking.

For the longest time, I used to believe that God's presence depended on me in some way.

I used to think that God's love for me, as a strong, present affirmation, depended on what I was thinking, what I was feeling.

I never recognized Him as the acting, loving Father that He is.

Many people in the Body of Christ have declared that such sentiments are dangerous.

"If you tell people that they have the unconditional love of the Father, then they will go out and live like sin!"

I can attest in my own life that because I understood how deep, rich, passionate, and feeling God's love is in my life, so many sinful behaviors and bad thoughts have fallen away.

Paul writes to the Romans:

"Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

Paul's letter announces the fullness of what the Grace of God does for us!

"11For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; 14Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." (Titus 2:11-14)

Grace brings salvation.

Grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and the lusts of the flesh, the eye, and the pride of life.

Grace teaches us to live righteously in this world!

Grace causes us to look for God's blessed hope and the reappearing of Christ Jesus!

Jesus does not go away. In fact, He has been on the job from the very beginning. He was always there for me, even if I did not understand, even if my faith was weak since I did not understand God's Word enough, nor had I learned to rightly divide the Word of Truth (2 Timothy 2:15).

The summary of this revelation:

It is not my job to make God present to me in my life. He has made it His job to serve me:

"For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45)

Thank you, Jesus, for your love! Thank you, Father God, for Your Son and sending Him to us!

He Is A God to Me, Because He Has Forgiven Me of All of My Sins

I used to wonder if God was on my side.

I wondered, not sure if God was going to come through for me or not.

This lack of faith was quite disconcerting for me, I must say.

For the longest time, I used to believe that God was present to me only if I was thinking about Him.

But that is not how it works.

He is a God to me because of what His Son accomplished at the Cross.

God is for us not because of anything that we have done, but because of everything that He has accomplished at the Cross.

Consider the elements of the New Covenant:

"10For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:

"11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

"12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8:10-12)

WHhy is God a God for us?

It's all in verse 12?

"I will be merciful (more accurately, propitious) to your unrighteousness, and your sins and iniquities I will remember no more."

God has put away all our sins, and He did this through Christ Jesus!

For the longest time, I was convinced that God's presence in my life depended on my feelings, depended on my thoughts.

I had to feel a certain way, or I had to make sure that I was thinking about God all the time. It's insane that I had such overwhelming destructive thought processes, but that's the torture and pain that I went through.

Today, I recognize, I see Jesus, alive and full of love for me. I see God my Father, alive and full of love for me. I recognize today that He has been actively caring for me, caring about me all this time.

I so limited God. I did not see how rich, how good, how wonderful He is.

Jesus, thank you for the love that you have for me. Thank you, Father, that You are a God to me! Thank you that you have always been there for me, no matter what is happening. I cannot thank you enough.

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

This "if" is not a conditional "if" based on something that we must do. It's a statement from one logical affirmation to the next.

God is for us! Therefore, who can be against us?

No, Acceptance Is NOT The Answer to All of Our Problems

Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 449:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.”

I was thinking about this passage last night, Thanksgiving night, while taking a trip with a friend to visit other friends for Thanksgiving Dinner.

This passage is all wrong. Wrong on so many levels.

There are so many things in our lives which we should not accept!

We should not accept child abuse.

We should not accept homosexuality being forced on young people, being forced onto our culture.

We should not accept people committing repeated acts of wrongdoing.

We should not look at all our circumstances as ordained by God.

He is in control of our lives if we allow Him, if we allow His grace to minister in our lives.

For the rest of the world, however, it is clear that they are not under the guidance of God's goodness or His dominion.

But this notion that "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems" simply does not add up. No, we should not simply tolerate everything. That is wrong.

We should not simply say "Que sera sera" in the face of injustice and evil. There are bad things happening in our world that require a real response. There is no excuse for pushing this into "Oh Well. That's just the way things are!"

If We Still Fear, It's That We Don't Know How Much He Loves Us

When I was convicted just for sitting in a city council meeting, a great degree of fear and revulsion washed over me.

What was it that had caused all that fear, that turmoil?

The sense that God was not on the job, that He was not working behind the scenes, that He was not taking care of me.

When I began to realize the importance of assessing God's love for me based on the Cross, not on my circumstances, it became easier for me to ask God a different question about what I was going through:

"Lord, I know that you are working good for me in the midst of this hardship. Just give me a window into what you are doing."

The verse could not say it better:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

That's the most important thing, really. We need to know and believe in His love for us.

This is hard for me. I want all my problems solved. I want to have no legal, medical, professional challenges, whatever.

Then again, the account in Mark 4 always serves as a reminder to me that quiescence around us is not necessarily conducive to peace within us:

"39And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith? 41And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" (Mark 4:39-41)

One would have thought that after Jesus rebuked the terrible storm that was threatening His disciples, that His disciples would have been grateful and relieved.

Instead, they "feared exceedingly." Isn't that awful? Where was their faith? Where indeed?!

They did not believe the following:

1. They did not see Jesus as Savior, but only as Master, Example, Teacher.
2. They did not believe that He cared for them.
3. They feared that they were going to perish, when Life Himself was in the boat with them, and there was no way that any of them were going down!

In the same way, I share a similar regret with my loving Father. Time and again I have seen him come through for me, and yet I still struggle to rest and believe that He is taking care of me, even in the midst of some terrible storms. I admit that I want all of my problems solved first.

But that is not faith, and such confirmation of good outcomes is simply not enough.

Indeed, I want to know more of how much my loving Father loves me. I want to understand further how much His Son loves me. I want to receive a greater revelation of God's love for me through His Holy Spirit!

How I Learned to Rest -- What That Really Means

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Jesus really is my rest.

He is not some figment of my imagination.

Jesus, my life, my spouse, my very breath, is taking care of me every step of the way.

For the longest time, I did not know, I was not able to rest and believe that Christ Jesus was indeed on the job.

I struggled with this. When people said mean things about me, or when I was maligned in print or on media, I sometimes doubted that my Loving Father could or would take care of it.

This lack of faith is indeed quite troubling.

That's exactly what Jesus chided His disciples for:

"40And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" (Mark 4:40)

Where indeed?

They didn't not see Him as He truly was -- as He truly is!

He cared for them!

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)

God wants us to come to Him. God wants us to believe on Him!

That He is -- and That He rewards those who seek Him!

"6But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)

It truly is a life of believing, not doing; of receiving, not achieving; of resting, not striving.

Why is this so hard for the Church, for the Body of Christ?

We don't understand how bad the sin problem is. We think that Jesus came to make bad men good.

WRONG.

He came to make dead men live.

And when we realize that He is our life, resting in Him is just that only way to go!

I can now rest and believe that if I have suffered wrong, if I have failed, if I have suffered humiliation at the hands of another, that my Loving Father, my Daddy God is on the job.

I know that my sins will never stop Him from loving me, that His grace will never stop superabounding in my life, especially when I fail.

Adam and Eve ran away because of their sin. But Because of the Son, I can run to my Loving Father even when I sin!

And His love is so rich, so ravishing, so refreshing, that I have no further desire for sin.

I may not be sinless, but I sin less!

I am no longer restless, but I rest more!

Seeing Him Taking Care of Me, Taking Care of Everything

"Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day."(Ruth 3:18)

For too long a time, I saw God as a made-up character, a person, an idea.

I would talk to God, but I never expected Him to talk back to me.

Today, I recognize how real He is, how active He is.

How very much He is on the job.

This is so cool, so real, so simple, and yet for so long, it was so elusive.

I used to think that His presence or absence all depended on how I was feeling or what I was thinking.

This is so crazy, and it was such a stronghold for me. I could not imagine my way out of my problems, and yet that is precisely how I treated my loving Father, His Loving Son, and the loving Holy Spirit.

Father, your presence in my life never depended on me.

It was always about Your love for me.

This presence has turned into a greater knowledge of how active, how real, how effective you are!

For a long time, I would get angry. I was convinced that I was on my own in this world, and that it was up to me to fight for whatever I needed to fight for.

I was in such bondage. Yet God is separate, not living in my head.

Wow! I cannot believe how simple it is to write this. And yet for the longest time, I often wondered, worried, fretted that God may or may not be on my side.

I thank God for Pastor Joseph Prince and his ministry. It truly is all about seeing Jesus, knowing that He is alive, active, invested, working hard in us and through us and all around us.

Thank you for your patience with me, my Loving Father. I had so much that I had to learn, and you stayed with me. Thank you!

Grace is License to Sin? What?!

It shocks me to great end that people continue to claim that grace gives people license to sin.

They just do not know, do not understand how great God's grace really is.

They don't see, know, realize, experience, receive how great God's grace really is.

Grace is a person -- Jesus!

Do people really think sin is all that great?

Honestly, the way that people talk about grace, as though it is a license to sin, it would be as though the Prodigal Son who came back to the Father, who would receive all the blessings and promotions of the Father, would then turn around and ask "Can I go back to eating pig food?"

Seriously?!

"O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him." (Psalm 34:8)

God is really good? Yes. Sin is tempting? Yes, but it's a lie.

From the serpent beguiling Eve, and then Adam going along with her fall, to the present day, Satan and the fallen world that Adam corrupted have lied to children of men, telling them that what God is, what He has to offer is not good enough.

And yet His grace superabounds in our lives, especially when we fail! (Romans 5:20)

How about this?

"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." (Psalm 16:11)

Grace is license to sin?

That's not what the Bible says, either!

"11For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; 14Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." (Titus 2:11-14)

And of course:

"1What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? 2God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein." (Romans 6:1-2)

We Still Don't Know How Much Our Father Loves Us

Daddy God,

I want to know more of your love for me.

I still do not understand how much you love me, and I guess I have to accept that I will never know fully how much you love me.

I need to now know more of your love for me.

I wish that I was so satisified with your love, that I would not lust after another.

Show me more of your love today, Lord!

Thank you, Father, for your love for me!

Saddened Then Rejoicing Again--My Father Is Always Giving Good Gifts

For the last few days, I had some sorrow.

I was looking forward to perhaps joining with some friends, some new contacts, in a foreign country where I would have the chance to fight the pro-family fight.

I was really looking forward to this chance. I had dreamed of this opportunity, prayed about it, held it in high esteem.

Then it seemed that it was not coming to pass. I feared that it was going to slip out of my hands. I wondered if God had disappointed me in some way.

It was really strange, the sense of sadness, of soft melancholy which lingered in my sentiments. I wish that I could write about this more directly, but I just could not. I did not understand why I was sad, but I was sad.

For the next few days, I moped quietly, didn't really talk about it with anyone.

I was disappointed, and I didn't feel that I could talk to God about it. I began to question His love for me, or to question what I had been learning about Him.

Isn't that awful? But that's what kind of crept up in my flesh, in my feelings.

Another friend of mine, to whom I confided my feelings, told me that I needed to learn to be patient.

Indeed, I had been reading this incredible passage from Isaiah that same morning, which spoke about this trait, this spiritual discipline to wait on the Lord and His timing:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

I had a deep yet subtle sadness inside of me, and the next morning, this morning in fact, I remembered this verse:

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." (Isaiah 42:5)

So, the original hope that I had was not coming to pass, or perhaps more time needs to pass before my dream comes to pass.

Then again, God's in the business of not just anwering our prayers merely.

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us" (Ephesians 3:20)

If Daddy God is not answering our prayers, or we think that He is steadily heading toward answering a prayer, and then it seems to go nowhere, our answer should not be one of fear, doubt, or a sense of disappointment or betrayal.

I was convicted of two crimes that I did not commit. Nearly nine months ago, I looked at this terrible outcome and cried relentlessly. Today, I look at this event, and I have received nothing but blessings, revelation, wonder, joy, and honor.

People may have meant it for bad, but God has done great good for me because of it.

The same holds true for the promises that I have received from Father God, or if things do not work the way that I had hoped, God is doing something better, He has something much better planned for me.

That blessed outcome has happened to me many times over. I never have to doubt that God was not honest or forthright with me. One the contrary, He has made and continues to make all things work for my good. There is no need for me to second guess or doubt Him.

Not at all!

"7Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:7-11)

Showing Patience As People Grow in Grace

I have made a new friend.

He lives in another country, but he and I had so much to share, to talk about.

He struggles with SSA, same-sex attraction.

He shared this struggle with me very openly when we began connecting on social media.

I then shared with him how the solution, the "break out" from this is to know the love of the Father.

This verse answers every addiction which plagues mankind:

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." (1 John 2:15)

Later on, he told me that he was seeing a counselor to deal with his SSA.

I was kind of upset when I heard that. Why seek a person when the Perfect Man at the Father's right hand has redeemed you from all sin, has taken you out of death and given you Himself?

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) 6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:" (Ephesians 2:4-6)

I wanted to reproach him, ask him why he was still seeing a counselor after what I had shared with him a week ago.

Then I remembered how many times I have had to hear the Gospel of Grace, the true Gospel (Galatians 1:6), the truth which sets men free (John 8:32)

There is so much baggage in our lives, so many lies which we have held onto because we were taught so many false things, and never bothered to verify them, check them against the truth of God's Word. In many cases, there were so many things I used to believe, much like the laws and the frauds in Alcoholics Anonymous, which I had just accepted passively as Gospel Truth.

People cannot be taken right away from bad habits, or the emotional pains which come with trauma, hurt, loss, abuse from childhood or even adulthood. The grace of God goes slowly yet deeply into our hearts, not just changing our behaviors, but transforming our hearts and minds.

Abraham believed God's promises when he was 75 years old. He did not receive the fulfillment of this promise until he was 100 years old, when it would be all the grace of God and nothing to do with his own efforts. God was fully magnified, and His timing well-respected.

With this full understanding of how God's grace works in our lives, I understood that I had to give my friend a break.

If we see people looking at temporal solutions for deeper problems., the answer is not to tell them to give them up. The answer is to give them the deeper, eternal solution, and keep providing that solution to them!

The answer is to keep revealing, to keep sharing the love of the Father with them!

"No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him." (John 1:18)

This same love, John practiced throughout his account of Jesus' ministry, too:

"23Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved. 24Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake. 25He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it? 26Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it. And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon." (John 13: 23-26)

We don't get better by getting rid of the bad.

It's not enough to tell people to stop doing certain things. Such advice doesn't help, but brings people into a tighter, more painful vise of pain and hurt.

Those who are suffering need something better. Whatever they are looking for, whatever they are searching for, that needs to be provided for them.

Man's greatest need is righteousness, and with that comes the unconditional love of the Father!

We get better when we receive more of the good!

It's the goodness of God that leads to repentance, after all! (Romans 2:4)

And it is the grace of God which teaches us to stay NO to sin and yes to godliness (Titus 2:11-14)

Not Sexual Needs, But the Need for God's Unconditional, Everlasting Love

Psychiatrists often talk to patients about their "Sexual needs."

Something is really wrong here.

People do not need to have sex. Men and women can live highly functional, fulfilling lives without jumping on someone.

Of all the creatures on earth, human beings can choose not to have sex. They can refrain from reproducing.

Man's greatest need is unconditional love. Not sex, but love!

Consider what John said to his readers in His First Epistle:

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." (1 John 2:15)

What is of the world, according to John?

16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (1 John 2:16-17)

What the world has to offer, the pleasures, the contentments which we seek from the world, are simply not enough!

They don't last. We need something eternal, for that is what we were made for!

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world [lit. eternity] in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

So, we need God's eternal LOVE!

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." (Jeremiah 31:3)

and

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

and therefore:

"38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Now, what is God's love, precisely? How does the Bible define it?

"9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him." (1 John 4:9)

Love is about God sending his Beloved Son to the world. We live because of Him, and we love through Him!

Then the definition becomes clearer:

"10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10)

God sent His Son to be our Mercy Seat, where our sins are paid for forever!

Because of Jesus' Finished Work on the Cross, we have been made the righteousness of God in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:21)

This righteousness, this blessed status of being fully and forever justified before God, means that we can know and believe in God's love for us.

Because of this righteousness, we can rest assured that God will never be made at us again (Isaiah 54:9)

This is what man needs.

He does not have sexual needs. He needs unconditional love, and that love can only be provided by God through His Son JESUS!

Our Flesh Does Not Block Us From the Love of the Father

In a previous post, I wrote about the sin in the flesh.

Notice that this sin still abides in everyone, even in those who are saved.

Jesus has redeemed us in our spirit.

Our minds still need to be renewed to the truth of God's Word:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2)

In our bodies, there still abides sin in the flesh.

Thankfully, Christ Jesus dealt with this problem within us handily at the Cross:

"1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:" (Romans 8:1-3)

Jesus came in the likeness of sin flesh. He had no sin in His flesh, no sin in Him at all:

"And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin." (1 John 3:5)

Let's never forget: Jesus, the Son of God, was--IS--sinless. He cannot sin, He could not sin while on earth during His earthly minister, and by His death He has put away sin forever!

Now, this same wonderful Jesus, He came in the likeness of sinful flesh. God the Father sent His Beloved Son to take on His full wrath against sin, and thus in Jesus' perfect, sinless body---condemned sin in the flesh!

So, let's get real, brothers and sisters in Christ.

Even when you have been saved, you will still sense these negative tendencies. You may find yourself next to a guard rail near a cliff, and something in you says "Jump off!"

You may find yourself feelings of lust around people. Like me, you may find yourself remembering bad things that bad people have done to you, and you get MAD!

Hey, it's part of the Christian walk--we are called to rest and recognize that those feelings, bare manifestations of "sin in the flesh" have all been condemned.

Now comes more that I can share with you.

I struggled with the negative feelings of past hurts. Those sentiments would well up inside of me. Just today, I was thinking about--all of a sudden, mind you--these painful sentiments.

Today, I recognize how much bondage I found myself in. I was convinced that the only way that God could work through me was that I had to be free, to be rid of these painful feelings, the rush of anger, the rush of lusts--I had to get rid of them.

THAT'S NOT TRUE!

Our flesh--my flesh--does not block me from my Father. NOT AT ALL!

YES! YES! YES!

I still remember Pastor Prince rejoicing when he shared this in his sermon:

"YES! I LOVE MY JOB!"

For the longest time, I feared bad sentiments suddenly rising up in my mind, in my body.

I would struggle so hard against them, whether to stop bad thoughts, or bad feelings.

When I would get really angry about someone or something, this feeling that I had to "do something" about it was just so strong, that it just overwhelmed me.

Whenever I felt bad, felt sad, felt guilty, felt anything, I felt that I had to get rid of that feeling.

It took me so long, and the revelations have gotten deeper, I realize now that all of that was merely "sin in the flesh", all of which has been condemned at the Cross!

Nothing can separate me from my Father. His love is real, robust, roundabout, and nothing can break it away from me. Nothing.

Paul the Apostle could not have made it clearer:

"38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

For the longest time, I was looking at myself, my skin, my sin, the struggles within.

All of that is gone, useless, unimportant today. I know that my Daddy loves me, and that He will never leave me nor forsake me! (Hebrews 13:5)

I do not have to worry about doing something about thoughts and feelings that bother me, because His love for me, His blessings in and around me have nothing to do with me.

THANK YOU, JESUS!

Why God Does Not Answer The Prayer to "Pray the Gay Away"

I have listened to a number of compelling accounts from people who struggled with same-sex desires and temptations. They often mention that would pray to God to "take the gay away". They wanted those feelings removed from them. They didn't want to struggle with same-sex desires and temptations.

And yet, those feelings remained, despite their best efforts to put them away from them.

This is a concern. God wants to us to have life and that more abundantly, does He not?

Why does He not take awa these desires?

The fact is that every person in the world, on the earth, has been and will be born in sin, born dead in their trespasses (Ephesians 2:1)

When we are born again, we still have sin in the flesh. Paul the Apostle writes:

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." (Romans 7:18)

The more that Paul wants to do good, the more that bad, that sin manifests itself:

"19For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me." (Romans 7:19-20)

Notice that Paul writes that this sin principle is in his flesh.

When we are born again, our spirit is brought back to life, and our minds are slowly renewed, but we still inhabit this body, which has sin in it.

When Jesus died on the Cross, our sins were all paid for, but also sin in the flesh was condemned!

"3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:" (Romans 8:3)

Now, sin has not be removed from us, for we are still in the flesh, that is in our earthen bodies.

Our bodies will be redeemed one day:

"20For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: 21Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself." (Philippians 3:20-21)

We are citizens of heaven, but we still reside in these earthen bodies. One day, there will be the full redemption of our bodies:

"53For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory." (1 Corinthians 15:53-54)

Now, let's look at this "pray the gay away" plea from those who still struggle.

Let's face it. If God were to "take the gay away", we would have to be taken off the earth, taken home. We would have to be fully liberated from our flesh, and that means "Dead."

Really, we should thank God that He does not answer our prayers when we pray "God, take away my temper problem", or "God, please remove these lustful feelings from me."

We have sin in our flesh, but it has been condemned. We are called to identify with Christ Jesus, for we have received His standing, His life!

"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

He is our life! Why look at our flesh and ask God to remove the sin in our flesh?

Let's consider the full consequence of God answering this prayer: God woiuld have to remove us from this earth. Even if we would receive our newly-redeemed body later on, we would become literally no earthly good. God wants to minister to the world through us, by the power of His Holy Spirit. The light affliction of sin in our flesh is nothing compared with the glory of God's grace working in our lives, granting us power to reign in life and reign over sin, even in our flesh.

God wants to save more of His creation, and He chooses to do so through us! Imagine if God had answered our prayers, and we would be removed from the earth for good. How sad that would be.

The second response to this "Pray the Gay Away" problem.

When we face a problem, a challenge, a struggle, God's way is not to take something away, but to add something more, something better.

Consider the Israelites, when they prayed for help following the snakebites they suffered in the wildnerness, because the complained about God's manna from heaven:

"7Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us." (Numbers 21:7)

Notice that after they were bitten by the fiery serpents, the Israelites begged Moses to take away the snakes. But think about it--taking away the snakes would not have healed them from the poison running their bodies.

Taking away the problem would not have helped them, who would not have set them free. 

Read what happened next:

"And Moses prayed for the people. 8And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. 9And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived." (Numbers 21:7-9)

Consider this account during the ministry of Elisha the Prophet:

"38 And Elisha came again to Gilgal: and there was a dearth in the land; and the sons of the prophets were sitting before him: and he said unto his servant, Set on the great pot, and seethe pottage for the sons of the prophets.

39 And one went out into the field to gather herbs, and found a wild vine, and gathered thereof wild gourds his lap full, and came and shred them into the pot of pottage: for they knew them not.

40 So they poured out for the men to eat. And it came to pass, as they were eating of the pottage, that they cried out, and said, O thou man of God, there is death in the pot. And they could not eat thereof.

41 But he said, Then bring meal. And he cast it into the pot; and he said, Pour out for the people, that they may eat. And there was no harm in the pot." (2 Kings 4:38-41)

Notice that one of the prophets in training but a wild (literally, glittering) vine into the pot of food, which ruined it.

Elisha did not fix this problem by taking out the glittering vine, but by putting meal, or fine flour into the pot. The fine flour speaks of our Lord Jesus! Allow more of Jesus into your situation. 

Consider also Jesus' High Priestly prayer before His death on the Cross:

"I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil." (John 17:15)

God wants us to rule in the midst of our enemies, whether internal or external (Psalm 110:2), and we reign in His Life! (Romans 5:17)

The answer our problems, our challenges, the sin in our flesh is not "Take away the problem."

The answer is "Show me more of the Cross. Explain to me further what Jesus has done and is doing for me and in me."

In other words, as Peter wrote to his fellow believers:

"But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen." (2 Peter 3:18)

It's not about trying to remove something bad, but to keep receiving more of His favor, more of God's grace in our lives.

We don't need God to take away the sinful desires in our flesh. We need to see more of Jesus taking care of us, and recognize that the sins, the lustful feelings, the bankrupted thoughts have all been paid for and condemned. They are no longer part of us!

Consider what Paul writes to the Romans:

"11Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:11)

and

"14For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." (Romans 6:14)

We are not striving in our efforts, but living by His grace, His favor, His love!

Final Reflection

Recently, I spoke with another man who was struggling with these issues. He was very heartful about breaking free, and he even told me that he had been praying for a long time to be set free from these same-sex desires.

I told him plainly that if God answered that prayer, He would have to take him home. Then I told him that the sin in our flesh has been condemned, and that therefore there is no further reason to pray that prayer. Why identify with something that is not you?

That was one of the most moving times I had in ministering to a fellow brother in Christ. I thank God that He worked with me at great length through all those trying times. We are not separated from God when sin in our flesh flares up. Let's us rather recognize that those sins are condemned, they are no longer part of who we are.

We are now in Christ, and so let us grow in grace and reign with Him! Let's set our affections abovm at the Father's right hand -- for that is where we are now!

My Mother Wanted Me to Be Her Husband

Only recently did I realize how abusive my mother was to me.

She treated me as though I was supposed to be her husband. She would come to me with her personal problems. She would dump on me her emotional pains.

Children are not supposed to be surrogate comforters for their parents. That is wrong.

The role caring for one's children comes into play when they become elderly, frail, unable to care for themselves. That is a different matter altogether.

By then, the children will have become stable adults who can handle challenges, who can deal with difficulties, who are living their own lives.

I was not allowed to grow up. I was not allowed to make my own decisions for a great deal of my life, For a long time, I was not permoitted to allow the peace off Christ preside in my heart.

There was so much fear, there was so much worry, there was so much reproach. I was always waiting for her to tell me whether something or someone was OK or not. Such abuse I endured.

I trust and thank God for everything that He has been doing for me. He has seen me through so many difficulties. He has seen me through so many challenges. He has redeemed me from so much hurt, pain, loss, and shame.

It makes no difference what others did to me, even my own parents!

I remember reading this verse a long time ago, when I was so angry at my parents, especially my mother for how she had treated me:

"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." (Psalm 27:10)

The LORD seemed so far away from me when I was a child. I did not see Him as someone was actively in love with me. I was constantly afraid of doing something wrong, of making Him mad. I constantly worried that I was doing the wrong thing. It seemed like I had to guess what He wanted me to do.

Now I know and believe what Paul writes about our Loving Daddy God:

"38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Now, towards the end of her life, and the end of my bondage to the lies that I had to tolerate her abuse, she was calling me a number of times. She wanted to spend her time with me, she wanted me to give her the love that she had hoped from her husband, my father.

The day came in November 2011, when I had to let her go, I had to hang up on her, send the message loudly and cleary that I was not going to be used anymore. She kept calling me over the next two months.

In February, when she ended up in the hospital, she called me to pick her up. I refused, directing her first to my sister, who in turn directed her back to her husband, my father. "She has a husband. Let him pick her up," I said to myself that Saturday evening early in 2012.

I was talking about this with a fellow believer, and I finally, finally realized this ...

My mother wanted me to be her husband. That is such child abuse. That was wrong. No wonder I had some adjustment issues. No wonder I struggled so much as an adult. Unconditional love means that we are not expect to provide it for someone else. Someone provides it for us, and that someone is JESUS!

I could not be her husband, I could not provide that unconditional love, and I praise Jesus that in that one year 2011, so much changed for me, in me, through me, everything.

Pastors Are NOT Called to Fix People, But to Preach Jesus--He Changes Us!

Check out this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRH8H2LrElI

I understand the notion of receiving people who are hurt, who are in pain. I understand that there are Christians out there who see temptations in their flesh, and they feel ashamed about those feelings.

I also understand why there is concern about hitting on their feelings, and telling them that they need to get rid of their feelings.

It is good that churchces receive people who are hurting and do not rush to communicate a message of "You need to clean up! You need to get YOUR act together!"

Let us not believe, however, that God does not change us, or that these struggles should define us!

We are spirit! We are not flesh!

We are sons of light!

"Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness." (1Thessalonians 5:5)

People receive Jesus, and He transforms them. He transforms us!

"17Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)

Jesus accepts us as we are, and because we receive Him, we become as He is!

"For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

and of course:

"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

My concern when it comes to homosexuality, when it comes to sexual perversion, is that there is still  this idea that homosexuality, that "gay" is a solid, real identity.

It simply is not.

The Body of Christ must not be afraid to speak the truth about this matter. God did not design our bodies for same-sex conduct. These behaviors harm, they kill, they rob us of the beauty and dignity which are loving Father wants us to have.

It is important to say "We are not trying to change you," but let us not shy away from declaring the truth, which is that "When Jesus' love takes hold of you, you won't want to hold onto, or engage, in homosexual conduct anymore."

These are not behavior for us! They are sins!

"9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Paul did not hold back in his first letter to the Corinthians.

He then swoomed in with the grace of God, to remind them what Jesus had done for them!

"11And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Paul never hesitates to say to the Corinthians. "Such behaviors belong to those who are unsaved. You ARE Saved! Why act like you are dead, when you have been brought to life?"

Pastors are not called to fix people. We are called to preach Jesus, we are called to invite, urge people to believe in Jesus, to be set free from sin, to be transformed from death to life, to be taken out of Adam and placed in Christ Jesus!

He changes us! He transforms us from glory to glory!

AMEN!

Jesus, Grace Personified is Better--Sin Just Plain Sucks

I must say, I have a really hard time understanding how anyone can claim that they are under grace, and yet they engage in all kinds of sin, all kinds of perversion.

Anyone who has tasted, who has seen that the LORD is Good (Psalm 34:8) knows that sin ... sucks!

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Psalm 16:11)

Yes, that verse above is in the Bible.

God is not against us having fun, having life.

Remember, Jesus was--IS--the life of the party!

"7Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. 8And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it. 9When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, 10And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now." (John 2:7-10)

Jeuss literally saved the party. He turned water into wine. Not exactly healing, but a miracle, the First Miracle He performed!

God is all about us having fun.

Really, He is!

So, when people have this weird idea that grace is a license to sin, I have to ask:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I think of that scene toward the end of the movie "Return to Oz", from the early 1980s.

Before Dorothy Gale goes back to Kansas, she says good-bye to her pet hen, Belina. She asks the hen if she is going to come home with her.

Belina is just shocked, and shoots back:

"What, and go back to that hum-drum world again?"

Once she had seen the Emerald City, beautiful in its dazzling wealth and fresh wonder, why would she want to go back to dry, flat, boring Kansas?

I feel the same way when people talk about sin, in contrast to the love, joy, and pleasure of the Son.

What? Why would I want to go back to that garbage? Why would I want to settle for less?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

How quickly we forget, and how correctly Paul would write:

"4Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

Riches, goodness, longsuffering.

I LIKE THAT!!

As for sin:

"The wages of sin is death," (Romans 6:23)

I DON'T LIKE THAT!

Also, let's not forget Paul's exhortation to pastor-in-training Titus:

"11For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;" (2 Titus 2:11-13)

Grace teaches us to say "No!" to sin.

Of course it does! Grace is better! Why settle for death, hell, and the grave?

Thanks, but no thanks.

Last of all, John could not have written better in his First Epistle:

"15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." (1 John 2:15)

Notice that John writes "Don't love the world." He points out the reason why people love the world: "The love of the Father is not in them."

It's about more than knowing that God the Father loves you. Is His love in you? Have you let His love in, or do you still keep it out, convinced that there are things that you have thought or done, that you are thinking or feeling, that would make Him unhappy?

Do you believe that the Father loves you? Do you see His love as intimate, close, never to leave you? Do you see Daddy God embracing you, even at your worst, your lowest, your basest, just as in Jesus' parable? (cf Luke 15:20).

Now, why does John reproach "love of the world"?

"16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 John 2:16)

The three different types of human-centered--strained attempts at pleasure: giving into temptations, trying to please our eyes, our senses; making ourselves big in the eyes of the world, big reputation  etc--is not from the Father, not from our loving Daddy.

And

"17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (1 John 2:17)

The biggest problem with whatever the world has to offer? John does not mention the Ten Commandments. He does not mention God the Father's displeasure with sin.

The reason why the world and whatever it has to offer is not good enough? It passes away. It's NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

We are made for eternal things. Remember back to Psalm 16:11, in which there are "eternal pleasures
" at Jesus' right hand!

I want what lasts, not what is temporal.

Jesus, Grace personified is better. ALWAYS!

As for sin. Really?

Sin just plain sucks. BORING!

I want life, and that more abundantly--and that is PRECISELY what Jesus came to give us! (John 10:10)

Sin cannot compare: Jesus, Grace Personified is Better!

Other Ways My Mother Had Helped Me

I have written a number of posts in this blog about the negative things that I had endured from my mother.

But little by little, as I have received, enjoyed more favor from my loving Father, I have found more good memories entering into my recollection.

I often share the story about how my mother quit smoking, a perfect example of God's grace accomplishing what our efforts never could.

I cry with deep joy that I still remember that day. I was just three years old, but I remember seeing my my mother fall down on her knees and simply tell God the truth:

"Lord, I have no faith in me. I have very little faith in you. Please, I do not want to smoke anymore."

THAT DAY, she quit smoking and never went back. Ever!

YES! Be honest with God, and let Him work in you--that's what sets us free!

Something else that I remembered about my mom.

My dad liked to provoke me about my eating habits, even though he was heavier than I--and he would readily admit it today. One day, New Years Eve 1999, in fact, he reproached me because I used to eat cake frosting right out of the can, forget putting it on the cake!

What's wrong with that!

My mother just ripped into him: "Now, let's not forget about your eating habits, Sandy!"

BAM! Thanks, Mom!

And I also remember when my dad used to reproach me because he had teased me so mercilessly about buying me a "Barney" toy. I really didn't like Barney, just because, but as a young kid heading into middle school, it was considered really embarassing to have anything to do with that purple, freaky dinosaur. Now, I don't even care.

What bothered me then, and has bothered me since, is that my dad got so much joy out of making me so angry--as a kid that day, when he had so deeply provoked me about it, I did not talk to my father for two days. He had tried to embarass me in front of my peers in a public place. That is really bad! Dads, don't shame or your kids! THAT IS WRONG!

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

At any rate, my dad was laughing about that all over again one night, while the whole family was driving home from a fancy dinner. Instead of just letting him get away with it, my mother savaged him, "You know, you think that your father would be someone who would be on your side."

Then I jumped in on it, and I started laughing out loud: "Yeah, you know, instead of shaming his son, a father should be doing what he can to build up his son. But Dad decided not to do that, right!"

We both burst out laughing--and at my father's expense. He kept his mouth shut the rest of the evening.

The latest thing that my mother had done for me, that I am recalling now, took place when I was in high school. I had gotten so busy with studies, with work, with extra curricular activities and all the rest. I felt so bad that I had not been talking to God.

And one Saturday morning, after I had finished breakfast, I remember sharing this with my mother.

And she said to me: "Don't feel bad that you haven't been talking to Him. Just come to Him as you are."

That gave me such peace. I think about that right now, when I have failed, sinned, struggled with internal issues. For the longest time, I thought that I could not come to God, that I had to get things straightened out in my mind, in my flesh, in my circumstances. I realize now that when things are all out of sorts, that is precisely when you come to God!

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

So with that, I write:

Thank you, Mom!

Convicted for Doing Nothing Wrong, Sentenced for No Reason, Yet Still Joyful with No Regrets

(The use of this cartoon will make sense very soon)

So, on October 25. 2018, I was found guilty in a court of law for ... sitting in a city council meeting.

The prosecutor lied to the jury.

The judge suppressed evidence.

Of the eleven witnesses I had lined up to testify, only two were permitted to testify. What gives?

The jury had no idea what was going on. They just went along with the basic principle that if a cop tells you to do something, you just have to do it. Really? What if he wanted to take my money. Am I then obliged to turn over the cash?

I was found guilty ... of sitting in a city council meeting. Officially, I was convicted of two counts of California Penal Code section 148a1, "resisting arrest" or "failure to follow the lawful order of a police officer."

I contend to this day that the order for me to be removed from the Huntington Park City Council chamber was an unlawful order. I was called out of order for no reason, and then someone in the audience blurted out, lied to the city council elected officials, and they in turn went along with the lie just to have me removed.

I refused to leave. They had no right.

What's done is done.

I left the court house that Thursday afternoon, puzzled that this had happened. "How could I be found guilty for sitting in a city council meeting?"

A number of my friends from We the People Rising joined me at the court hearing. They witnessed three bailiffs stand in the courtroom when the verdict was announced, and then I stood up to hear the verdict.

"On count One ... Guilty!"

"On count Two ... Guilty!"

I was just shocked, puzzled, but no tears, no screaming or yelling. The court officers were preparing for the worst, but the worst did not happen--at least in my emotions.

I left the court room, since sentencing was postponed until Tuesday, the next week. My attorney took the heat so that I could go to a work event in Texas over the weekend. I was not going to stop living my life just because someone declared me guilty on the most flimsy of premises.

That evening, I went out to eat with the friends who had come with me. I didn't really let anything hit me yet. Just like when you find out that someone close to you has died, the full pain of this loss does not hit you right away. You don't realize what the loss is going to look like until the memories start rolling in, and then the realization that the person with whom you shared those memories is now gone forever.

That night, I went home. I went home, and I was just overwhelmed with grief as soon as I entered my home.

I cried for an hour that night. I could not believed that this was happening to me.

How could this happen to me? How could this be allowed to happen? Lord Jesus, I had prayed for your favor, I asked for your grace to get me out of this, to ensure an acquittal, to stand up to the abuses of the corrupt city council, the police, the system.

And yet ... this?! WHY?

I had never cried so hard. It hurt my lungs, I was in such grief. With all of this cascading over me, I called the first I could think of ... my employer Brian Camenker. He had been through this whole trial with me. I have never had so great an employer as Brian, and a better career than working for MassResistance.

He was with me as I cried out in pain. It was such a devastating loss. He shared with me similar challenges, pains, losses that he had faced in his life. He also talked about the overcoming spirit that he and his own father had demonstrated many times over.

Brian shared with me part of an elegant quote from President Theodore Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Yes, I had been in the arena. I had welcomed victories, and I was not bracing a defeat. 

The anxiety I felt was great, too. Had I been mistaken this whole time? Did I miss God? Did I get this all wrong or something?

I was panicking somewhat at this point, too. Was I all alone in this world? Since God did not rescue me from a guilty verdict, was He someone whom I could not trust for anything now? Those doubts were the most crushing, and were certainly the deepest reasons for my despair.

I ended up calling two other people, friends of mine who had joined me at the courthouse that afternoon, and ate dinner with me that evening. One of them said "It will be OK, buddy." Another one admitted to me his own run-in with the law, and how the event brought him to his knees to ask Jesus Christ to be His Savior.

Quite a powerful, yet quiet admission that this man had made to me. I realized that I had to come to God directly with this. I had to not run from Him, or act as if He was not there for me. I needed to rest and recognize "There is a reason for this."

I went to my event in Texas. It was so hard not to focus on "The Sentencing!"

But then I began to return to the gift of righteousness which we receive (and keep receiving!) because of Christ Jesus (Romans 5:17).

No matter what is happening, no matter whether I understand what God is doing, or not doing, I have been made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:21). At no time could I doubt or wonder whether God was for me. Truth be told, however, I could not understand what was going on.

That recognition of my righteousness in Him--apart from works, from feelings, from circumstances--began to ease my heart and soul.

The sentencing was going to be interesting, that was for certain. More to come.

Now I'm a REAL BOY!

I wrote in another blog post how frustrated I was as a kid.

I was so busy trying to be the good boy, the one who played by all the rules, who looked up to and measured up to all the standards of the teachers, what was expected of me, what was placed on me.

If I was a good boy, I was good. If I failed, I was a bad boy, etc.

This idea of being unconditionally loved, cared for, graced first, and then responding to that love -- I had never known that.

Such thinking, such beauty, such GOSPEL, was completely unknown to me.

For all the years that I had been going to church, reading my Bible, listening to sermons, following the rules blah, blah, blah -- I never knew how much He loves me.

I do not write "He loved me", because His love for me is eternal, never-ending, and very present, too.

I was so busy trying to be good, and yet failing at it, or just plain having no fun.

The frustration I felt, too, when I saw kids who did not play by the rules get all the wins. "That's not fair!" I used to think.

Grace is not fair, and we are called from the beginning to grow in grace!

God is not looking for me to be a "good boy" in my own efforts.

I can't even become that!

"As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" (Romans 3:10)

It is written. None of us our righteous, good.

Sin cannot be overcome by our efforts. It requires grace!

JESUS!

"Grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." (John 1:17)

Jesus did not come to make bad men good, but to make dead men live.

Or, Jesus did not come to make bad boys good, but to make dead boys live!

Just like Pinocchio in that fairytale!

As long as he tried in his own efforts to become real, he failed.

When he rested and just believed, he became real!

Don't believe me?

"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

LIFE!

Life is better than playing by "rules." Ten Commandments tell you want not to do -- and they actually awaken sin! (1 Corinthians 15:56-57)

I kept thinking that life was some kind of exam. I needed to put myself in the right place, at the right time to make things work.

No!

Jesus -- He is my life! (John 14:6; Colossians 3:4)

Life is what He has invited me to receive!

Today, I don't try to be a good boy. I know that I am loved, adopted by my loving Father!

I have His spirit, the spirit of adoption. He is my ABBA!

And I am His SON!

"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not." (1 John 3:1)

That makes me alive, real!

Confessing Our Sins Is Not Enough -- So What Else Is Needed?

TrueLove.Is is an incredible, new ministry for me.

It was really good to see young people, who on the outside at the very least are down to earth, not crazy, flamboyant, or just plain weird--and they struggled with same-sex issues.

I noticed a theme in two of the stories.

First, there's Jason Yolt:

He talked about the joy he had when he shared about his same-sex struggles with his small group of fellow-believers. However, he then admitted that he would still indulge in his same-sex desires. He would still fool around.

Confession of his sins, his struggles, did not set him free.

Then there was Raphael. His story is quite poignant, too.

He talked about the struggle with same-sex desires as early as 13 years old. My, such pain that he had to face as a youth, and the sense of emptiness which must have overwhelmed him, and for so long.

He later found a mentor, or it seemed that this mentor found him. Raphael later shares how this man helped him to understand the struggles of his own father, how he was doing the best that he could. Raphael also commended his mentor for showing him a father's love, something that he did not receive from his own father.

Yet like Jason, Raphael continued to struggle with loneliness, the lack of love in his life, the hurt and pain. He still went after same-sex relationships, one-night stands, and chance sexual encounters.

Once again, confessing one's sins, sharing one's hurts, is just not enough. It does not set us free.

Let me clarify: sharing one's sins, hurts, and pains with others is not enough. Perhaps it's a start, in that we stop feeling ashamed. But it does not solve the problem, resolve, the issue, dissolve the pain.

So, what does?

The Love of the Father!

"15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (1 John 2:15-17)

No offensive to Raphael's friend and mentor Jason, but his love could never rise up to, let alone equal, God the Father's love!

It just can't. It's not the same love. It never can be enough.

What changed for these two that delivered them?

I notice first of all that they came to God directly. Nothing held them back. They admitted to their loving Father, they came boldly to the throne of grace in time of need (Hebrews 4:16)

Second, they began to experience a greater love, the love of the Father, and we can experience that when we juse come to Him, just like the prodigal son!

"20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)

Just one little move toward your loving Father, and He will rush towards you with His love!

It's not enough to confess that we have bad feelings, bad thoughts, bad desires, and bad actions.

It's not enough to get rid of the bad. We need something better. 

Why else do so many of us, do ALL of us, choose to run after lusts of the flesh, the eye, and the pride of life? We don't have, we don't know, we have not allowed in THE BEST!

And that is the Love of the Father. Not the Love for the Father, i.e. our love for Him, but His love for us!

This is an enriching, never-ending love!

Confessing our sins is not enough. Why are we sinning? Why are we resorting to these empty lusts which cannot satisfy us?

Because we don't allow the love of the Father in!

That's what is most needed! And that's what both of these men did!