No Condemnation in Not Punching Back

I used to eat myself up with shame and hurt because I had failed to stand up for myself in certain situations.

People had taken advantage of me, for example, or tried to hurt me.

Some people deliberately went out of their way to make me feel bad.

During my time as a school teacher, for example, or in my current job, I was dealing with students and co-workers who were the most abusive people.

I was scared to do anything deliberate and direct, for fear of retaliation.

In reality, the basis for those fears was condemnation, pure and simple.

A sense of guilt and shame about losing my job, or looking bad, of not having support or not being able to pay the bills, was so pervasive in my life.

Even when I had forgiven the people who had harmed me in my life, a sense of shame and condemnation would still creep up in my life.

"How could you put up with that abuse? Why didn't you do something about it?"

 I could easily answer that question then and now: I did not feel cared for, and that sense of aloneness in the world also comes from condemnation, the sense that I had to work to make sure that God was in my life, and I had to ensure through my efforts that He stayed with me.

How wrong I was then, for today I recognize without reserve that the LORD is my shepherd, and in Him I shall not lack. It really is a matter of trust, pure and simple.

Now that I trust that He has my back, and my front, and all around (read Psalm 139 for more information), then I realize that I do not have to fear reproach, revenge or reprisal if I speak my mind on an issue.

Still, even if I failed because I was not aware of my rich inheritance in Christ Jesus, there is still not condemnation. None.

There is no shame if we failed to punch back at abusive behavior in the past. None.

There is no reason for us to worry about our failures in the past, for they have all been paid for, along with all our future failures, too. They have been paid for.

So many times, I had felt under such heavy bondage to provide for myself fully, and thus to put up with untold amounts of abuse and disrespect. "If I speak up to my boss then I could lose my job, and then I will have no money, and I will have to scrounge and fight for another job. No!"

All of those ruminations were lies based on the Big Lie that God was still angry at me.

Today, I recognize that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, at all. No one can shame me or make me feel bad, and they do not have my permission to do so, because Jesus Christ ate up all the shame, guilt, and condemnation at the Cross.

There is no room for such hurt and hatred in anyone's mouth. A supervisor told me that no one has a right to be rude, at all. Ever.

I liked that. When I understood that, and when I took into account that I had nothing to fear from man, whether reprisal or reproach, it made it so much easier to punch back, to assert, to call people to accounts for their bad behavior.