I Needed to Know that He is Caring For Me Always

"Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." (Matthew 28: 20)

What stirring comforting words from the Bible, right?

Of course!

Yet for me, the struggle in my mind took me to the place where I believed that His presence in my life depended on how I was feeling, or what I was thinking.

So, the game every day was to keep my feelings in check, to make sure that I never lost my cool, so to speak, and never permitted my mind to wander.

I still find myself getting into the fight from time to time, getting assaulted with the questions which seem to demand some kind of answer:

"What are you going to about this or that? What is going to happen tomorrow? How do you know that He will be there for you?"

On and on and on.

The truth is, that I was worried only because I was convinced that I had to feel a certain way to ensure that He would be there for me?

What was pushing this constant sense of demand and panic in my life?

Condemnation. I would feel bad if I felt bad, and I would panic if the bad feeling emerged, trying to struggle my way out of  them.

Paul was not kidding when he wrote to the Romans (and all of us who believe in Jesus):

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8: 6)

It really hurts to be in bondage to your feelings, to believe that every time you feel bad, or there is tension in your head, that you have to do something about it in order to be OK with God.

It really sucks, and I want out!

Thank you Jesus, for providing the way, which Paul had already, already, (all ready?) outlined at the beginning of chapter 8:

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8: 1)

That's it. No discussion. Either you believe it, or you don't.

Now, the next problem which emerged for me.

There have been times in my life where an extended sense of pain and panic had existed for so long. I kept thinking and wondering ahead of time, "what am I going to do when I feel this way or that way? How do I get out of it?"

And that litany of questions was so painful, because I had to answer them, or at least I thought that I had to answer them.

Today, now, at this time, I recognize that all of those questions have been answered fully, once, for all, forever at the Cross:

"1Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ, who in presence am base among you, but being absent am bold toward you: 2But I beseech you, that I may not be bold when I am present with that confidence, wherewith I think to be bold against some, which think of us as if we walked according to the flesh. 3For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." (2 Corinthians 10: 1-6)

We are set free from all our sins, forever, and any sense of shame or condemnation has no place in our lives because of what Jesus did at the Cross.

So, this issue of condemnation, tied in with the feelings associated with it, and I was a basket case, chronically trying to remove a sense of shame and frustration from my mind.

The answer to all questions is what Jesus did at the Cross, pure and simple. Because of the Cross, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. None.

I must admit that fighting with those feelings had become such a habit, that I am almost not really used to NOT fighting with my feelings.