Soooo...are rape victims complicit in their bad situations, too? You do know that there are a lot of AA members who are really into rape, including incestuous rape, right?
If you were harmed by someone, there is no reason to blame or shame someone for that harm.
Granted, we can all practice wise judgement to avoid terrible things happening to us, but rape is rape, and anyone who perpetrates it is the criminal, not the person who was raped.
And why is reacting a bad thing? In extreme situations, reacting on impulse (like the self-defense shooting I mentioned in another comment) could save your life. Getting a divorce from an abusive spouse might be another "reaction" that keeps you alive and well. And after you split from the dumb brute, no Al-Anon required. Suppressing reactions actually leads to the exact kind of "people-pleasing" behavior that Al-Anon considers a symptom of codependency. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Damn, that was a really good point you just made right there! The AA cult does indeed force people into these lose-lose situations. No matter what they do, even when they are right, they are still wrong, and they have to take their own inventory, work their own programs, etc.
I agree that addicts and alcoholics are frequently "DSM-narcissistic," but that is a case of chicken-vs.-egg fallacy. Recent research has shown that sociopaths are over-represented amongst substance abusers--in other words, the narcissism most likely caused the addiction, not the other way around, and will most likely continue long after the addict/alcoholic is sober. There is no reason to try to salvage this and "learn to cope serenely one day at a time," folks. It will only get worse.
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS on your CHARMING use of ALL CAPS to make a point.
Yes, and yes again. Thinking that you are the center of the universe, and finding that the world does not agree with you -- that can lead to roaring benders all the time. Of course, dealing with what set of the narcissism is much more important. There are abusive elements in our lives which we should never cope with. Never. Because there is a lack of understanding on this issue, people do drink or abuse themselves in other harmful ways.
Alcoholism is a symptom of other lies, distortions, and abuse. Twelve Step programs perpetuate the abuse, rather than deal with the lies and promote the truth.
If you were harmed by someone, there is no reason to blame or shame someone for that harm.
Granted, we can all practice wise judgement to avoid terrible things happening to us, but rape is rape, and anyone who perpetrates it is the criminal, not the person who was raped.
And why is reacting a bad thing? In extreme situations, reacting on impulse (like the self-defense shooting I mentioned in another comment) could save your life. Getting a divorce from an abusive spouse might be another "reaction" that keeps you alive and well. And after you split from the dumb brute, no Al-Anon required. Suppressing reactions actually leads to the exact kind of "people-pleasing" behavior that Al-Anon considers a symptom of codependency. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Damn, that was a really good point you just made right there! The AA cult does indeed force people into these lose-lose situations. No matter what they do, even when they are right, they are still wrong, and they have to take their own inventory, work their own programs, etc.
I agree that addicts and alcoholics are frequently "DSM-narcissistic," but that is a case of chicken-vs.-egg fallacy. Recent research has shown that sociopaths are over-represented amongst substance abusers--in other words, the narcissism most likely caused the addiction, not the other way around, and will most likely continue long after the addict/alcoholic is sober. There is no reason to try to salvage this and "learn to cope serenely one day at a time," folks. It will only get worse.
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS on your CHARMING use of ALL CAPS to make a point.
Yes, and yes again. Thinking that you are the center of the universe, and finding that the world does not agree with you -- that can lead to roaring benders all the time. Of course, dealing with what set of the narcissism is much more important. There are abusive elements in our lives which we should never cope with. Never. Because there is a lack of understanding on this issue, people do drink or abuse themselves in other harmful ways.
Alcoholism is a symptom of other lies, distortions, and abuse. Twelve Step programs perpetuate the abuse, rather than deal with the lies and promote the truth.
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