"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 6-7)
God keeps our hearts and minds.
We don't.
It is not our job to do this.
I thought that it was, and for the longest time, in my mind, that is exactly what I had tried to do.
I have had a terrible time of letting go. For all the talk about "Let Go, Let God", I found that it simply did not work in my life.
The reason? We cannot let go if we do not believe that God is holding on for us.
If we think that every negative projection in our lives must be answered, then we can never trust Him.
And there you have the biggest reasons why I panicked at length in my life.
I was convinced that I had to answer every fearful premonition in my mind.
Never did I realize that they do not stop through our efforts.
What does the Bible say?
"12Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into." (1 Peter 1: 12)
Then
"13Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: 15But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; 16Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy." (1 Peter 1: 13-16)
We are not supposed to honor every fear and hurt. We do not give heed to the fretting and worrying in our minds, either. Every thought is brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
Like many people, I was given to the notion that I had to fight every thought. Every premonition of fear was something that I had to take care of.
That is not what the Bible teaches at all!
He guards our hearts and minds, not us. He brings every thought into captivity, not us.
Years ago, I had read that verse, and yet I felt no peace. I loved the idea of not worrying about anything, yet for some reason, I still felt agitated. "What do I do about this? What is my part?"
All of these questions never left my mind. The reason why?
Because I did not see Him as alive! I did not see Jesus beyond my head. I was still too big.
Like many Christians, I knew that Jesus died for me, but I did not know that He lives for me!
He is bringing and guarding us, not we ourselves. He is taking care of all things, not us.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Speak Good Things, King-Priest in Christ!
"12And the priest shall value it, whether it be good or bad: as thou valuest it, who art the priest, so shall it be." (Leviticus 27: 12)
We have a High Priest in heaven today, and He speaks nothing but good on our behalf before God the Father:
"31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. 34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us." (Romans 8: 31-34)
Not only that, but we are in Christ today, and God sees us in His Son, and we are now His own children:
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8: 15)
and also
"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4: 17)
Now, look at the wickedness perpetrated by Alcoholics Anonymous.
Men and women go to a room every week (or sometimes every day!) and tell themselves and listen to others say: "I am an alcoholic."
God the Father did not send His Son to die on the Cross for us to label ourselves with such demeaning, shameful identities.
He took away the sin, and made us all sons.
It is a deep shame that for so many years, I lived in a home where my other mother told me that I was an alcoholic, simply because she had been programmed to believe that garbage for so many years.
She also talked about how she was a flea, a dog, and a worm, as if there was any kind of humility in that.
We need to be freed from ourselves, and look at Jesus, the author and Finished of faith (Hebrews 12: 1-2).
Not at ourselves, but at Jesus, and we are saved (Isaiah 45: 22), for He is our salvation.
He has made us kings and priests (1 Peter 2: 9), and in the words of a king there is power, and the word of a priest determines value.
We need to speak God's word over our lives, our circumstances, not our thinking, nor the opinions of men.
We have a High Priest in heaven today, and He speaks nothing but good on our behalf before God the Father:
"31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. 34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us." (Romans 8: 31-34)
Not only that, but we are in Christ today, and God sees us in His Son, and we are now His own children:
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8: 15)
and also
"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4: 17)
Now, look at the wickedness perpetrated by Alcoholics Anonymous.
Men and women go to a room every week (or sometimes every day!) and tell themselves and listen to others say: "I am an alcoholic."
God the Father did not send His Son to die on the Cross for us to label ourselves with such demeaning, shameful identities.
He took away the sin, and made us all sons.
It is a deep shame that for so many years, I lived in a home where my other mother told me that I was an alcoholic, simply because she had been programmed to believe that garbage for so many years.
She also talked about how she was a flea, a dog, and a worm, as if there was any kind of humility in that.
We need to be freed from ourselves, and look at Jesus, the author and Finished of faith (Hebrews 12: 1-2).
Not at ourselves, but at Jesus, and we are saved (Isaiah 45: 22), for He is our salvation.
He has made us kings and priests (1 Peter 2: 9), and in the words of a king there is power, and the word of a priest determines value.
We need to speak God's word over our lives, our circumstances, not our thinking, nor the opinions of men.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Maxine Waters: Alcoholics Anonymous Can Go Straight to Hell!
Maxine Waters has been an easy target in the press for her inflammatory remarks.
She once shouted:
"I'm not afraid of anybody! This is a tough game. You can't be intimidated. You can't be frightened. And as far as I'm concerned, the TEA Party can go straight to hell!"
Today, I wish that she had said the same thing about Alcoholics Anonymous.
So today, I will write it loudly and proudly:
She once shouted:
"I'm not afraid of anybody! This is a tough game. You can't be intimidated. You can't be frightened. And as far as I'm concerned, the TEA Party can go straight to hell!"
Today, I wish that she had said the same thing about Alcoholics Anonymous.
So today, I will write it loudly and proudly:
 |
Alcoholics
Anonymous
Can
Go
Straight
To
Hell!
(and I intend to help it get there!)
Knowing His Love for Me
When my mother took my sister and me away from our father for a period of time, she attempted to reconcile us from time to time with our father.
Yet she had been the very the person who had taken us away from him in the first place.
All of this behind-the-scenes micromanaging caused more problems than it ever solved.
Such are the consequences of trying to live the Christian life, or being in bondage to an adulterated cult, rather than taking God at His Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.
I remember one afternoon, when we were seated in the back of the car, and she had arranged for us to meet with our dad.
She had spent the past few months demonizing and shamimg him to us, and now she wanted us to meet with him and reconcile ourselves to him?
We were not ready or willing to do that.
Then she started yelling at us, breaking into tears.
"You guys need to love! You need to love. I am tired of doing all the work!"
She had been putting us into this difficult place, forcing us to move out of one home to another, and now she was shaming us for not wanting to meet with the man whom she had been defaming for months.
My sister and I were so young. We had no idea what was going on. Much of the time, we found ourselves just going along with whatever someone else, in this case our mother, had been telling us.
She was in bondage to an evil cult, one which forced on people a dead-set training to try and stay one step ahead of one's sin.
All our sin has been taken care of once for all at the Cross. When Jesus comes again, it will be apart from sin, having nothing to do with sin.
Today, it's all about the Son.
I did not know that at the time, and neither did my mother or my sister.
Yet our mother was pushing on me, and everyone around her, the outrageous and evil demands of the AA cult, convinced as she was at the time that every one of us needs a program of living.
No -- we need life, and that more abundantly, and we receive this life in Christ Jesus!
"He who hath the Son hath life, and He who hath not the Son, hath not life." (1 John 5: 12)
Instead of my mother berating my sister and me about loving others, we needed to know about the ever-present love of Jesus Christ in our lives, and how much He loves us today!
Yet she had been the very the person who had taken us away from him in the first place.
All of this behind-the-scenes micromanaging caused more problems than it ever solved.
Such are the consequences of trying to live the Christian life, or being in bondage to an adulterated cult, rather than taking God at His Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.
I remember one afternoon, when we were seated in the back of the car, and she had arranged for us to meet with our dad.
She had spent the past few months demonizing and shamimg him to us, and now she wanted us to meet with him and reconcile ourselves to him?
We were not ready or willing to do that.
Then she started yelling at us, breaking into tears.
"You guys need to love! You need to love. I am tired of doing all the work!"
She had been putting us into this difficult place, forcing us to move out of one home to another, and now she was shaming us for not wanting to meet with the man whom she had been defaming for months.
My sister and I were so young. We had no idea what was going on. Much of the time, we found ourselves just going along with whatever someone else, in this case our mother, had been telling us.
She was in bondage to an evil cult, one which forced on people a dead-set training to try and stay one step ahead of one's sin.
All our sin has been taken care of once for all at the Cross. When Jesus comes again, it will be apart from sin, having nothing to do with sin.
Today, it's all about the Son.
I did not know that at the time, and neither did my mother or my sister.
Yet our mother was pushing on me, and everyone around her, the outrageous and evil demands of the AA cult, convinced as she was at the time that every one of us needs a program of living.
No -- we need life, and that more abundantly, and we receive this life in Christ Jesus!
"He who hath the Son hath life, and He who hath not the Son, hath not life." (1 John 5: 12)
Instead of my mother berating my sister and me about loving others, we needed to know about the ever-present love of Jesus Christ in our lives, and how much He loves us today!
Know How Much He Loves You
The AA cult teaches people that they have to keep working.
They have to remain vigilant, so that the disease of alcoholism does not rear its ugly head and take down the alcoholic.
What kind of a life is that? It is not a life.
In fact, a habit of constantly looking at one's thoughts and feelings creates nothing but pain and frustration, followed by the depression of handing your peace away to someone else every time someone says or impresses you with something that offends you.
For a program which seeks to rid people of self-centeredness, AA makes people more self-centered than ever. How can one escape from oneself if you are still looking at yourself?
I had written in a prior blog post that the last person we need to be looking at is. . .ourselves.
We are invited to look on Jesus, the author and Finisher of Faith, and when we look at Him, we are transformed from glory glory by His Spirit (2 Peter 3: 18)
Now, today, or rather yesterday, I have begun to understand the importance of looking at Jesus, not thinking about Him, not conjuring Him up, but recognizing Him as alive and well in my life, regardless of how I feel or what I think.
We are released from dead Adam to serve Christ Jesus in the newness of the Spirit.
This Spirit is a real power, a true force, the same Spirit who brooded over the face of the waters, like a mother hen warming and comforting her chicks.
This Spirit does not depend on our thoughts and feelings. This Spirit is alive and well, and He wishes to abide in us.
Today, we do not have to pray the prayer that David had prayed: "Take not thy Holy Spirit from me."
Today, we know that Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13: 6)
This security has nothing to do with what we feel.
Now, the focus needs to focus on knowing how much God our Father loves us.
I had some misplaced understandings about God's love for me. I had confused love with feelings. Many of us do.
Yet Paul is very clear about understanding God's love for us:
"14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3: 14-19)
Many people ignore that this prayer was Paul's Number One prayer: That we would have the strength to understand God's love for us. That Jesus would feel at home in our hearts, not feel left out or restricted.
Many Christians get saved, but then they lock Jesus up. Instead of allowing His life to flow, we stifle His life through our efforts.
Paul warned against this return to self-effort based Galatianism:
"20I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." (Galatians 2: 20-21)
We do not understand how much He loves us, and we do not understand how widespread is His love for us, either. That is why so many Christians struggle with "the Christian Life". There is no way that anyone of us can live this life. Jesus is our Life, and He is alive!
Today, the goal of our walk with Christ Jesus is not doing more for Him, but rather letting Him do more through us.
Still struggling with this revelation? We all do. That is what it means to grow in grace!
Faith is all about seeing what is not visible to our eyes, yet it is there nonetheless. Not by feelings, because we know that there is a sun, even on cloudy days. If we could see God, then we would be God, and that was the very temptation which brought down Adam:
"No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us." (1 John 4: 12)
Now, do not think that you need to start loving so that God will abide in you. That is not what it's about. John clears up that potential misunderstanding very quickly:
"9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4: 9-10)
Then
"17Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 19We love him, because he first loved us." (1 John 4: 17-19)
God is Love, and He manifested this love toward us, then perfected this love with us thorugh His Son, then we in turn love others.
If we want to love others, we need to know how much God loves us.
This love cannot rest in our minds as a static understanding, but a dynamic revelation outside of us. Just as the sun is shining in the solar system, just as the strong force holds all molecules together right now, so too God's love toward you and me is red hot, and we need to understand more of it.
While the AA cult claims love and tolerance is its code, the truth is the God's love does not tolerate any substitute but Jesus as our Savior, at the Cross and at the Father's right hand.
They have to remain vigilant, so that the disease of alcoholism does not rear its ugly head and take down the alcoholic.
What kind of a life is that? It is not a life.
In fact, a habit of constantly looking at one's thoughts and feelings creates nothing but pain and frustration, followed by the depression of handing your peace away to someone else every time someone says or impresses you with something that offends you.
For a program which seeks to rid people of self-centeredness, AA makes people more self-centered than ever. How can one escape from oneself if you are still looking at yourself?
I had written in a prior blog post that the last person we need to be looking at is. . .ourselves.
We are invited to look on Jesus, the author and Finisher of Faith, and when we look at Him, we are transformed from glory glory by His Spirit (2 Peter 3: 18)
Now, today, or rather yesterday, I have begun to understand the importance of looking at Jesus, not thinking about Him, not conjuring Him up, but recognizing Him as alive and well in my life, regardless of how I feel or what I think.
We are released from dead Adam to serve Christ Jesus in the newness of the Spirit.
This Spirit is a real power, a true force, the same Spirit who brooded over the face of the waters, like a mother hen warming and comforting her chicks.
This Spirit does not depend on our thoughts and feelings. This Spirit is alive and well, and He wishes to abide in us.
Today, we do not have to pray the prayer that David had prayed: "Take not thy Holy Spirit from me."
Today, we know that Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13: 6)
This security has nothing to do with what we feel.
Now, the focus needs to focus on knowing how much God our Father loves us.
I had some misplaced understandings about God's love for me. I had confused love with feelings. Many of us do.
Yet Paul is very clear about understanding God's love for us:
"14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3: 14-19)
Many people ignore that this prayer was Paul's Number One prayer: That we would have the strength to understand God's love for us. That Jesus would feel at home in our hearts, not feel left out or restricted.
Many Christians get saved, but then they lock Jesus up. Instead of allowing His life to flow, we stifle His life through our efforts.
Paul warned against this return to self-effort based Galatianism:
"20I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." (Galatians 2: 20-21)
We do not understand how much He loves us, and we do not understand how widespread is His love for us, either. That is why so many Christians struggle with "the Christian Life". There is no way that anyone of us can live this life. Jesus is our Life, and He is alive!
Today, the goal of our walk with Christ Jesus is not doing more for Him, but rather letting Him do more through us.
Still struggling with this revelation? We all do. That is what it means to grow in grace!
Faith is all about seeing what is not visible to our eyes, yet it is there nonetheless. Not by feelings, because we know that there is a sun, even on cloudy days. If we could see God, then we would be God, and that was the very temptation which brought down Adam:
"No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us." (1 John 4: 12)
Now, do not think that you need to start loving so that God will abide in you. That is not what it's about. John clears up that potential misunderstanding very quickly:
"9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4: 9-10)
Then
"17Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 19We love him, because he first loved us." (1 John 4: 17-19)
God is Love, and He manifested this love toward us, then perfected this love with us thorugh His Son, then we in turn love others.
If we want to love others, we need to know how much God loves us.
This love cannot rest in our minds as a static understanding, but a dynamic revelation outside of us. Just as the sun is shining in the solar system, just as the strong force holds all molecules together right now, so too God's love toward you and me is red hot, and we need to understand more of it.
While the AA cult claims love and tolerance is its code, the truth is the God's love does not tolerate any substitute but Jesus as our Savior, at the Cross and at the Father's right hand.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Not Self-Help, but Spirit-Help
"But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Corinthians 3: 18)
We are not transformed by our efforts.
Man is dead in his trespasses, and there is no way that we can create life or recover from this sin through our efforts.
We need Jesus, we need His Life, and we need Him every day.
Notice that the Spirit of God transforms us.
Not ourselves, but His Spirit.
There was so much noise in my head.
Now I realize today -- you do not pay attention to that noise at all.
Especially the noise that presses you with: "What are you going to do about tomorrow? The next day?"
He has all of my times in His hands. Is there any reason for me to worry about tomorrow?
This is still taking me time to accept.
I was straining through my feelings to bring Him into my life. If I was full of cares, I was holding onto them, as though God was far away because I was feeling bad.
That is crazy!
Yet I believed it, and for a long time, too.
Not self-help, but spirit-help, that is what it is all about!
We are not transformed by our efforts.
Man is dead in his trespasses, and there is no way that we can create life or recover from this sin through our efforts.
We need Jesus, we need His Life, and we need Him every day.
Notice that the Spirit of God transforms us.
Not ourselves, but His Spirit.
There was so much noise in my head.
Now I realize today -- you do not pay attention to that noise at all.
Especially the noise that presses you with: "What are you going to do about tomorrow? The next day?"
He has all of my times in His hands. Is there any reason for me to worry about tomorrow?
This is still taking me time to accept.
I was straining through my feelings to bring Him into my life. If I was full of cares, I was holding onto them, as though God was far away because I was feeling bad.
That is crazy!
Yet I believed it, and for a long time, too.
Not self-help, but spirit-help, that is what it is all about!
Not Sin, but the Son (and See Him, Too!)
The Son is not far away.
He lives in us, and lives all around us too, because He holds the universe together.
Like some people, I believed that His presence in my life depended on how I felt.
It has nothing to do with how we feel.
The sense of panic which had been so induced in my life, that come from the feeling that I had to hold everything together on my own.
That is not the case at all.
He holds all things together:
"17And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Colossians 1: 17)
He calls all of us to look at Jesus, who is alive and reigning, not at ourselves.
This is a hard saying for many of us, because we live in these modern times, in which we make our own way in the world (supposedly).
He is alive today, and helping all of us.
He does not need our help to be here.
However, Beloved, we need more than His help. We need His everything.
This revelation has been incredibly important for me to accept, as well.
For the longest time, I was asking God to help me with the struggles in my life.
I was praying: "Help me to. . ."
That kind of prayer is not good enough.
He is all about doing all things through us, and merely asks us to receive all things with Him (Romans 8: 32-33)
Consider what Jesus told the disciples of His day, and what He offers to us, His adopted brethren:
"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10: 10)
Jesus did not say: "I have come to help you live your life better."
He also did not say: "I have come to make your life better", or "I have come that you might live a better life."
He furthermore did not say: "I have come that you would have an example to live by."
No! Jesus said: "I have come that you might have life, and that more abundantly!"
John was more pointed in his comments:
"11And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." (1 John 5: 10-12)
I kid you not - I was trying to live this life on my own. I believed that Jesus had died for my sins, but I was filled with fear and panic every day because I had believed that I was on my own to live this life myself.
This has been a difficult revelation for me to explain, but explain I will as God gives me grace to write.
I was trying to create Him inside of my head. I was convinced that I had to make Him alive through my thinking and my feeling.
As a result, I was constantly looking at my feelings and thoughts, making sure that they were not straying or running away.
I have only learned that I can be mad or angry, and Jesus does not go away. God does not huff off or get blocked from me.
Even in David's psalm prophesying the Messiah's crucifixion, we find these verses:
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? " (Psalm 22: 1)
But later:
"
He lives in us, and lives all around us too, because He holds the universe together.
Like some people, I believed that His presence in my life depended on how I felt.
It has nothing to do with how we feel.
The sense of panic which had been so induced in my life, that come from the feeling that I had to hold everything together on my own.
That is not the case at all.
He holds all things together:
"17And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Colossians 1: 17)
He calls all of us to look at Jesus, who is alive and reigning, not at ourselves.
This is a hard saying for many of us, because we live in these modern times, in which we make our own way in the world (supposedly).
He is alive today, and helping all of us.
He does not need our help to be here.
However, Beloved, we need more than His help. We need His everything.
This revelation has been incredibly important for me to accept, as well.
For the longest time, I was asking God to help me with the struggles in my life.
I was praying: "Help me to. . ."
That kind of prayer is not good enough.
He is all about doing all things through us, and merely asks us to receive all things with Him (Romans 8: 32-33)
Consider what Jesus told the disciples of His day, and what He offers to us, His adopted brethren:
"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10: 10)
Jesus did not say: "I have come to help you live your life better."
He also did not say: "I have come to make your life better", or "I have come that you might live a better life."
He furthermore did not say: "I have come that you would have an example to live by."
No! Jesus said: "I have come that you might have life, and that more abundantly!"
John was more pointed in his comments:
"11And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." (1 John 5: 10-12)
I kid you not - I was trying to live this life on my own. I believed that Jesus had died for my sins, but I was filled with fear and panic every day because I had believed that I was on my own to live this life myself.
This has been a difficult revelation for me to explain, but explain I will as God gives me grace to write.
I was trying to create Him inside of my head. I was convinced that I had to make Him alive through my thinking and my feeling.
As a result, I was constantly looking at my feelings and thoughts, making sure that they were not straying or running away.
I have only learned that I can be mad or angry, and Jesus does not go away. God does not huff off or get blocked from me.
Even in David's psalm prophesying the Messiah's crucifixion, we find these verses:
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? " (Psalm 22: 1)
But later:
"
22I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee.
23Ye that fear the LORD, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel.
24For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard." (Psalm 22: 22-24)
David was saved, and Jesus came back to life and is now seated at the right hand of God the Father.
The tension and wrong believing that had crippled had everything to do with the lie that God would come or go depending on how I felt.
I had misunderstood too many scriptures without rightly dividing the Word.
I was living in my head, and caught up in my feelings, convinced that what I was thinking or feeling had to be answered or resolved.
He calls us to cast all our cares, and keep casting our cares on Him. That was something I was not good at either. I had been so used to holding onto all my cares.
I had spent so much time and energy trying to quiet down my mind, when the Bible is very clear about how we are transformed and changed: not through our efforts, but beholding, seeing His Son!
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