I Struggled With Fatigue Because I Struggled

The title may seem facetious, even obnoxious, but there it is.

I was struggling with fatigue over the last three weeks. I found myself getting very, very tired.

I would find myself nodding off at about 6pm or 7pm, and then I would just retire to bed.

Then I would jolt awake at 2am or 3am. Weird and frustrating.

I began to fear. "Will I ever get a decent night's sleep again?"

I was so stressed out on the inside. I was seeing all the work piling up that I had to take care of, and I wondered if I was goingn to fall behind to such an extent that I would never catch up.

This sense of panic kept me awake at night. I just didn't realize that I was stressing myself out to such an extent.

Last Thursday, though, I just gave up. I stopped trying to keep myself awake. I just rested, and recognized that everything is going to have be taken care of tomorrow.

That was the first night that I had slept soundly. The refreshing whicih flowed in my body was quite welcome.

What was different? I stopped stressing about whether I would be rested tomorrow or the next day. I just allowed myself to sleep, and I trusted that my loving Father would take care of me. I trusted Him to wake me up in a timely manner.

I don't have to "pressure myself" internally to ensure that I wake up on time.

It's amazing how much I was pressuring myself from within. I was not entering into His rest. I was constantly conjuring, provoking myself. It's amazing how tired I was. It's amazing moreso that I was unconscious of how much I was stressing myself out!