When to Extend Grace, and When to Mete Out Justice

"God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." James 4:6)

Unlike most people in the church circles that I mingle in, I have no problem watching Pastor Joel Olsteen. Earlier this week, he shared a sermon about going the extra distance for people who have wronged us, who have harmed us.

He also talked about extending grace to those who don't deserve it.

While listening to this sermon, I admitted to God out loud: "I don't want to let people off easy. There are people who have harmed me, and I simply do not want to let bad people get away with bad things which they have done to me."

I later recognized that this is an attitude which needs to change. This state of mind is something that He will change in me, however. It's not my job to change myself:

"But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

At any rate, I have been learning for the last two months that God loves it when I am honest with Him about my feelings, about my reservations, about my rank unwillingness to do certain things. He loves that we come to Him with our limitations!

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

I then asked God to give me some guidance about this, because there are times when I had forgiven someone openly, only to witness those individuals engage in more shameful behavior towards me and others. I have often recognized that the most important aspect in our walk with others people is that God's peace must rule in our hearts as a judge, or as an umpire (Colossians 3:15). God does not want us leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but walk in His Spirit (Galatians 5:16).

I was so pleased, so grateful to the Lord! He answered my prayer by drawing out to me to different scenarios from my former teaching career.

In 2010, I was a substitute teacher in the Centinela Valley Union High School District. It was one of the most difficult, most unpleasant experiences (at least when I was a long-term sub in Hawthorne and Lawndale high schools).

The Hawthorne High School students were pretty bad to me, except for 0 period and 2 period. In Fourth period, one kid was generally not that bad, Ricardo Galvez. But for the most part, the students loved tormenting me.

Then there was Lawndale High School. One student, Ivan Ordonez, was the worst. He loved torturing me, I guess. The school pretty much let students get away with anything, in large part because the deans were too cowardly to hold students accountable, and they would not allow administrators to drop the hammer on misbehaving students. The last day of my assignment at Lawndale High School, I remember how cool I was in the midst of everything in the classroom, and I sent out Ivan a third time without any regret.

Fastforward about ten months, and in came the next school year.

To Extend Grace

First, I was assigned to Lloyd High School, the continuation school for students who have received consistently failing marks. There, I saw Ivan Ordonez on my student roster for the day. I cannot tell you the panic that welled up within me. I was so distraught, I asked the secretary to cancel my assignment for the day. The secretary knew that I was often a capable substitute teacher, so he asked me what was going on. I told her about the abuse that I had endured from that one student, and she acquiesced to keep him out of the classroom for that period.

When I returned to my assigned classroom for the day, another student saw me and began provoking me: "You know that Ivan is here! Are you scared?!" He had this creepy grin on his face and everything. I didn't know what to think.

Then, then I saw Ivan come into the classroom next door. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's like the Spirit of God just caught me up, and I walked over to Ivan, asked him to step outside. He stood against the wall with his head held down. I then simply extended my right hand to shake his, and I said: "Ivan, I forgive you." He shook my hand, then returned peacefully to his seat.

What happened the next day was beyond amazing.

I was assigned to a larger class, and Ivan was going to be there. I never forgot that day. Calmly, he just walked up to me. Didn't flinch, didn't say a word. He had a calm smile on his face, and he shook my hand.

I just shivered with great joy that day. The last thing I remember asking him was "How's your Mom doing?"

This first example shows how extending graec is the right and righteous response. Ivan was deeply humbled, even pained by what he had done to me. I did not lay into him, nor did I harm him in any way. I did not seek to exact revenge of any kind.

Now, let's turn back to Hawthorne High School

To Mete Out Justice

I was a long-term substitute teacher at Hawthorne High School first. The original teacher who was selected for the assignment I covered had bailed on the school district. The school administrators interviewed seven candidates. I didn't make the cut, as I ended up somewhere in the middle. Let's face it--that high school was never going to select me. I could not control that class. Those students didn't listen to me, didn't respect me, and it was a waste of time to hope for any kind of development of respect to ensue. The students knew that I was not going to be in the classroom for the long haul, anyway.

Fast forward to September 2011, when I was covering classes on a day-to-day basis at Hawthorne High School. I was much more relaxed, much less tense. I was listening to Pastor Joseph Prince's sermons every day. My aspect had really changed, as I had learned in greater measure to Live the Let Go Life, because Jesus is My Life.

I was assigned to an art class, which was fun. I love to draw, and to get paid to watch a class and draw was a lot of fun, too. In one of those classes, Ricardo Galvez showed up. At first, I recognized him faintly, just by looking at him. Then he told me who he was, and that he was in the history class that I had covered.

Right then, he began mocking me. "Poor Mr. Schaper! We got you fired. We made you so mad."

He then briefly talked about how frustrated I was trying to get the class to get anything done.

Then all of a sudden, something just leapt up within me, and I roared at him:

"How dare you talk to me like?! I did not deserve to be treated with such direspect! You screwed yourselves! I wanted to teach, and you hurt yourselves!"

It was amazing! As soon as I shouted at him, Ricardo was taken aback, almost as though I had hit him. He was certainly blunted. Then he retreated to his seat, where he trembled while shrinking behind his desk. He then briefly smiled, trying to stifle his shame.

It was amazing! I couldn't figure out where that outrage came from, but it welled up within me and knocked the arrogance out of Galvez. From that day on, he never spoke to me again. He wouldn't even look at me when I was walking by him.

There, I meted out justice. There, the Spirit of God just moved within me and refused to let Galvez get away with dishonoring me.

When to do one, and when to do another

We extend grace to those who know that they are sorry, who are not proud, nor puffed up.

"God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." (James 4:6)

Let us give grace to the humble. Ivan was humble. He did not make anything of himself. He received what I offered. Galvez. however, was arrogant, puffed up. He was making something of himself while shaming and mocking me. He got exactly what he deserved.

I neglected to mention that I (rightly) humiliated Galvez in front of all the other students in the class. He richly deserved that comeuppance. Shortly after I had reamed him out, he quietly admitted: "That felt good, didn't it?"

Yes! It did. Meting out justice to the arrogant is very gratifying.

Just as granting grace to the humble is very gratifying.

Working Within Us Both to Will and To Do

"For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13)

This passage may strike some people as too metaphyiscal to be practical.

For more, this verse makes more sense than I could have ever imagined.

God is real, outside of me, yet living within me:

"To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:" (Colossians 1:27)

Christ is not just present within us, but He is our "hope of glory". We can rest confident that He is invested and determined to grant us His glory.

Paul writes that we "reign in life" through Christ Jesus! (Romans 5:17)

He is very much in and around me. He is at work, and He is actively working within me.

God is not interested in making us do things that we do not want to do. He gives us the desire, and He gives us the ability.

It's not a lazy life, but a dynamic life, because He is our life (Colossians 3:4).

The issue for me was that I used to think that my bad thoughts, my bad feelings were putting God away from me. I thought for the longest time that I was responsible to clean out, get rid of bad thoughts, bad feelings so that God could flow through me.

Yet all this time, God's love for me was lavish, strong, rushing through me, regardless of how I felt, and it did not depend on me one bit. I have been made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:21) because of all that He has done.

It's not my job to keep God close to me. It's not my job to ward off fears and worries. It's my job to rest in Him.

No wonder the writer of Hebrews declares to his Jewish brethren:

"Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4:11)

I used to wonder, to worry, to wander around in these weird thoughts, these fearful premonitions which used to test me, to press on me, and ultimately distracted me for so long from the truth.

For the longest time, I was egged on by these inner tensions.

It's only now, only NOW that I realize how present, how real, how loving, how precious my Jesus is. He is just wonderful! He is altogether lovely, and He has indeed taken care of everything for me.

There is no reason for me to plot and play on my own, as though He is not watching out for me.

Jesus' words mean so much more to me now:

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)

I have His Kingdom within me today:

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost." (Romans 14:17)

It's no a longer a life of demands, but a life of grace, resting in His flow, and allowing Him to carry me where He wishes to carry me.

He is indeed working within me. There is no longer a need to challenge or worry about whether I am being led astray. I understand now the mistakes that I had made in the past, the misunderstandings which had been prevalent in my life.

God is in the business of providing me everything. He will never be angry with me again, or rebuke me (Isaiah 54:9). When He disciplines me, it is so that I will rest more in Him and receive more from Him:

"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." (Hebrews 12:11)

Peaceable fruit of righteousness comes as a result of God's grace flowing in our lives.

Today, I no longer pay attention to the nagging fears and worries. I don't wonder about tomorrow, because I know that He is mapped everything for my good:

"Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:" (Isaiah 46:10)

and

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

All those feelings, hurts, wonders, worries--none of that was mine, none of that pertained to me, none of that belonged to me. The shames, the lusts, the temptations, none of that belongs to me, none of that has anything to do with me.

No wonder Paul could write so definitively:

"Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:11)

Wow! What a life this is! It's His Life, and it is grand! He is working within me, He is working in and around me, and because He is working, I flow with Him!

Entering His Rest

"Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4:11)

My body is really starting to calm down, and so is my mind.

This tranquility has become more commonplace, resplendent.

I never thought I would have this sense of warmth and caring.

I am really walking in His rest!

I understand now what Paul was writing about to the Romans:

"This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16)

The flesh is still there in my body, but I do not identify with it.

I can rest because you, Jesus, have been taking care of everything. I do not have to stomp out bad thoughts are bad feelings. Your life is flowing through me!

This is

I have since begun to realize that many of the negative thoughts, feelings, fears, premonitions were all examples of ... the flesh!

There is no reason to answer, to silence, to shut down every fear and worry.

This is part of the rest and the refreshing!

"To whom he said, This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing: yet they would not hear." (Isaiah 28:12)

Today, I am hearing! I am listening! I am HEEDING!

This rest, this refreshing speaks of His spirit, and we stir up His spirit in us when we pray in tongues:

"For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak to this people." (Isaiah 28:11)

I love to pray in the Spirit, because His Spirit is guiding me like never before.

And I love what I am hearing!

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ." (Romans 10:17)

For the longest time, the LONGEST TIME, I felt compelled to squelch, to stop, to shut down every feeling, every thought, every untoward premonition.

I never realized how in bondage I was to my flesh. I was constantly taking responsibility for these strange thoughts and feelings which came from nowhere.

Now I get it all! NOW I GET IT!

How Impatient I Was

Yesterday, I faced two trying challenges.

I had to get my car smog-checked, and it had failed one time before. It ended up failing a second time after making a key repair.

I was livid. I lost my patience, I was so mad. I could sense God speaking within me "Are you doing well to be angry?" just like what He had said to Jonah.

Yes, and He said the same words to me.

I was worried, because I didn't now if I had the money. When I calculated what my tax bill was going to be, it looked as though I was not going to have enough money to pay the tax bill. I could not believe how large my tax bill was going to be.

I faced so many of these frustrating challenges in one day. I was really upset.

I felt bad that I felt bad, too.

Then I spoke with a good Christian brother of mine in another country. I shared with him that I have lived my life for a long time, wanting to take care of every demand, every problem, every task in a hurry.

Yesterday was a day that I could not do that.

I realized how impatient I was.

Then I remembered this passage in Romans:

"3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." (Romans 5:3-5)

For the longest time, I had believed that as I grew in grace and knowledge of the Lord, it would mean that there would be no more hardships. Now I am recognizing that these hardships are working to my advantage. I shouldn't fear or dread them, but have the same attitude which Paul shared with the Corinthians:

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I Struggled With Fatigue Because I Struggled

The title may seem facetious, even obnoxious, but there it is.

I was struggling with fatigue over the last three weeks. I found myself getting very, very tired.

I would find myself nodding off at about 6pm or 7pm, and then I would just retire to bed.

Then I would jolt awake at 2am or 3am. Weird and frustrating.

I began to fear. "Will I ever get a decent night's sleep again?"

I was so stressed out on the inside. I was seeing all the work piling up that I had to take care of, and I wondered if I was goingn to fall behind to such an extent that I would never catch up.

This sense of panic kept me awake at night. I just didn't realize that I was stressing myself out to such an extent.

Last Thursday, though, I just gave up. I stopped trying to keep myself awake. I just rested, and recognized that everything is going to have be taken care of tomorrow.

That was the first night that I had slept soundly. The refreshing whicih flowed in my body was quite welcome.

What was different? I stopped stressing about whether I would be rested tomorrow or the next day. I just allowed myself to sleep, and I trusted that my loving Father would take care of me. I trusted Him to wake me up in a timely manner.

I don't have to "pressure myself" internally to ensure that I wake up on time.

It's amazing how much I was pressuring myself from within. I was not entering into His rest. I was constantly conjuring, provoking myself. It's amazing how tired I was. It's amazing moreso that I was unconscious of how much I was stressing myself out!

Growing in Understanding of Righteousness: 2008 and Today

In 2008, I started learning about the gift of righteousness.

I credit Joyce Meyer with helping me to understand my standing in Christ in this regard.

I learned that I am the righteousness of God in Christ when I read 2 Corinthians 5:21. It was really something!

I then learned that all of these blessings come our way because of this wonderful gift of righteousness.

But from there, I did not understand fully what it means to be justified.

I was still stuck in my feelings. I used to believe that God's presence would come or go in my life depending on what I was thinking, what I was feeling. I took Isaiah 26:3 in a very strange direction, to the point that it was debilitating for my mind:

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)

I literally thought that I had to be thinking about God, or He would not keep me in perfect peace. The mental anguish was just too much for me. Sometimes, I look back on those times and have to wonder how I lived through those difficult times.

But I did make it ... barely.

I felt that God's presence, blessings, favor would come or go in my life. Everything depended on me. Worrying had been such a natural status of life. It would be many years before I learned to realize, to recognize, to become aware that God is always with me. It's never been about feelings. It's never been about thinking. It's all about believing!

At the time, ten years ago, I believed that my righteousness, my righteous standing would come and go. I was still struggling with the seemingly mixed messages in the New Testament.

For example, Matthew shares in his Gospel account:

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)

So, I am supposed to seek His kingdom and His righteousness ...

But wait! Luke records:

"Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32)

God wants to give me His kingdom? OK, I like this, but why is their a seeming conflict in God's word on these matters?

And of course:

"For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

This confusion provided a perverse opportunity for the Enemy to lead me astray in all too many ways. I was supposed to seek His righteousness, but I was made the righoteusness of God in Christ, What gives? What is going on here?

And I did not understand what righteousness meant.

This confusion and conflict created such contention within me.

Today, though, I understand.

First, righteousness means that all my sins have been put away -- past, present, and future. It means that I will never bee punished, condemned, or harmed for any wrongdoing, action, or thought. This revelation would have been too much for me back then. I was so worried about doing the wrong thing, or going the right way. I didn't know how to rest, how to trust God's direction and leading in my life.

These nagging thoughs would never leave me: "Are you sure that you are doing the right thing?" "What if you make a mistake?" What if this is not God's will?"

These pressings questions really bothered me, because I was constantly bottled up with this false, limited understanding about how great, how moving, how active, how available God is to me. I also didn't know my heritage, my standing, my new identity in Christ Jesus.

Today, all of that has changed.

I understand that righteousness is a gift, and a gift which I keep receiving:

"For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ." (Romans 5:17)

Something else that often held me back was that I would fail, sin, do something wrong. But here's the thing -- my righteous standing before God has nothing to do with what I do!

This verse took on even greater significance for me:

"But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." (Romans 4:5)

The righteousness that God has made me, has nothing--absolutely NOTHING--to do with me. It's all about Jesus. It's all about what He has done. I received His life, having received His death at the Cross in my place for me.

Jesus is actively releasing favor, grace, life, love to me, too! This part was missing for me, too! I never understood how actively He is in love with me. We cannot understand the richness of His love for us, however, if we do not understand the fullness of His righteousness accorded to us.

When I first wrote this post, I had written the title "Growing in Righteousness."

However, we do not grow in righteousness. Our standing is perfect in Christ, for we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. For this reason, John wrote in his First Epistle:

"Herein is love perfected among us, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

These revelations came at me fast and furious as I was watching more of Pastor Joseph Prince, and taking in so much of his revelations from God's Word. Those were exciting times!

Here I am ten years later, and it's really wonderful how far God has taken me. I never realized how loving, active, real He is in my life. For the longest time, this sense of demand, dread, even fear about the next and the days to come were so strong, to prevalent in my life, in my mind. "What about tomorrow? What will happen tomorrow?" Those nagging thoughts, I now realize, were mere temptations, nothing more. I would feel condemned about those thoughts, feeling that I had to do something about them, prove them wrong, dispel them in some fashion.

I have since then learned to ignore those frustrations and fears, and they have all fallen away. I have been made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I do not have to change what I am thinking or feeling for God to be real, alive, and available to me. My identity before Him has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Him!

This is how I have grown in understanding the grace of God, the gift of righteousness, and the person of Jesus in my life. It's amazing how so many of us in the body of Christ will still live our lives as though everything is up to us.

No! Everything becomes a gift, and our loving Father simply asks us to receive from Him!

I had spent so much time trying to hold onto God, to make sure that He was ever-present in my life. Yet He is my life! How could He not be present?! It took me a long time to understand all of this, to understand the eternal, wonderful privileges and joys I receive because of His righteousness.

Amen!

What It Means to Rest in the Lord

This revelation about God's rest is becoming more prominent for me.

For the longest time, I didn't understand what God's rest was all about.

Now I get it.

He is our life, He is our majesty, He is at work preparing all things for us.

He is actively at work in and around me. I do not have to conjure Him up, so to speak, or beg Him to start moving in my life.

In fact, He is our life!

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." (John 14:6)

"Apart from me, ye can do nothing." (John 15:5)

and

"When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:4)

But we have a hard time believing that. I know that I have had a hard time resting in that revelation.

He is actively at work behind the scenes. I do not have to keep myself up awake at night, covering all the bases and the angles. He is taking care of me. He has it all taken care of for me.

It's not a game. It's not a joke. His presence in my life is not based on what I am feeling or thinking.

It was all paid for, provided for when Jesus declared on the Cross "It is Finished!" (John 19:30)

For the longest time, I was still looking at my circumstances, at the people in and around me, or the activities and outcomes coming my way, and would then conclude whether I was doing the right thing or the wrong thing.

Crazy, but true. There was a great deal of unlearning I had to endure. Alcoholics Anonymous, the law-centered preaching of so many pastors, preachers, and teachers had done their damage for a long time.

For the longest time, I woke up every day as though the day depended on me. Nothing would or could get done without me. I really believed that I was on my own.

Jesus, You are the Way! You provided the path for me!

And all this time, I was constantly living in doubt, doubting myself, doubting what others were saying and doing, wondering what to do, what to say, or how to navigate through this life.

So, all these years, a sense of pressure, a sense of urgency, this constant sense of "pushing myself" was a mainstay in my life. I had to be my own internal scold to make sure that things were taken care of. I was constantly having to be hard on myself, because if I was not vigilant, then nothing would happen.

Wow! Talk about arrogant! But I admit it today. That is how I thought, that it was I felt, and that is often how I behaved. God has provided everything for me. He is prompting me with His will, His desires for me. It's so wonderful to realize, to finally understand that I am not, nor have I ever been alone in this world.

I have been taking my blood pressure for the last few days. I have steadily withdrawn, taken less lisinopril over the last eight months following my stroke. And now my blood pressure has decreased considerably more since I realized that I did not have to stoke or provoke outcomes through my own efforts. This is really quite something!

I can relax, and recognize that through God's grace, all things will be taken care of in due time. I don't have to stress or fret about timing, outcomes, and deadlines. He is at work in me, and He is making all things work together for my good! (Romans 8:28)

There But For the Grace of God Go All of Us: Drug Addicted Porn Star

A few days ago, a friend of mine shared with me a video posted on YouTube which featured a porn star meth addict.

This featured video from National Geographic focused on the spread of the methamphetanie crisis throughout the state of California.

This woman, pictured above, is a porn star. She does her own movies in her home in the Hollywood Hills area. The segment above opens up with the porn actress gettingh ready for her shoot. But before she can "perform", she needs to smoke meth. She has to get high so that she can debase her body before a camera without suffering too much.

She has to "feel good" in the shoot, so to speak.

The next segment of the video records the comments focused on the drug dealer. He is preparing the  meth for his client, the porn actress. He can sell a few grams of this poison for thousands of dollars, but he gives the porn star a discount: $400.

She finally gets her drugs, gets high, gets ready for her porn shoot, and then the narrative pans over to San Francisco. There, drug use is at an all time high (no pun intended), especially in the gay sections of the city. The statistics are particularly shocking: 1 in 9 homosexuals have used meth.

Unbelievable.

Here's what stood out for me, though, when I was watching this segment.

I felt sorry for this woman, and I saw her as a lost, decrepit woman. She is a drug fiend. She is dependent on a chemical just to function through the day. She gives away her body in front of a camera. She is a sex fiend, a sex addict. She sells herself to debase herself, and then she sells herself yet again.

It's a cycle of defeat, of shame, of loss, of more defeat, then shame yet again.

But then something else hit me: Am I really any better? Can I say that I am any better?

If anyone were to pry open my flesh, my mind, my feelings, they would see that I am addicted to things. They would see sexual perversions percolating throughout.

Paul was unsparing in how fallen our flesh is:

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." (Romans 7:18)

I remember a comforting word which Pastor Joseph Prince had shared with a congregant in his church some time ago. This man had served time in prison, and before that he was placed in a foster home for at-risk youth. He had failed, fallen, sinned in so many terrible ways. Because of all the sins he had committed, he felt that he could not really come to God, and that he was in a worse-off position than the pastor.

Pastor Prince responded: "You think that I am better than you? The only difference between you and me is that the sin in you came out. The only difference is that the sin in me (i.e. in his flesh) had not come out."

And that just about says it all.

Everyone of us born into this world is a great sinner. We are all dead in Adam.

We can become alive in Christ, set free from sin, reckoning ourselves dead to sin, and alive in the Son!

"11Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

12Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof." (Romans 6:11-12)

If the world could see what was running through my mind, through my flesh, they would see far worse than what that porn star was doing!

There but for the grace of God go I. 

This revelation has become even more powerful and moving because I now understand fully what Abraham, what David, and what Paul the Apostle of grace shared with the Romans:

"1What shall we say then that Abraham our father, as pertaining to the flesh, hath found? 2For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. 3For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. 4Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. 5But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

6Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works,

7Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.

8Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin." (Romans 4: 1-8)

I am made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus because of what Jesus did. It has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with me. When I understand that this gift has been given, and that I am invited to receive--and keep receiving!--this gift, His life is able to flow through me.

There is no longer any desire to sin, since under grace "Sin shall not have dominion over you." (Romans 6:14)

When I realized that inside, in my flesh, I am no better than the drug addicted porn star, I had such peace. When I realize that I was great sinner, dead to sin, I could receive His Life, His Righteousness. No more pretenses, no more pretending.

Such freedom! Amen!

I was addicted to many things. Most recently, I shared that I was addicted to diet soda, and that nearly killed me. But God is very good. He works with us even when we are still struggling with sins in our minds and bodies.

He guides us by His grace, and His Spirit continues to transform us from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:17-18).

If we are all honest with ourselves, any one of us would stumble into the same sins. If we rely on our own goodness, if we think that we are "better than", we would fall into the same perversions, as well.

There but for the grace of God go all of us. Anyone one of us could become porn stars, drug addicts, lost in a sea of sin and shame, if not for all that Jesus accomplished for us at the Cross.