I Was Troubled About Something, Then He Answered

I used to feel shame about the way other people treated me.

If people treated me badly, and I felt that I had done or had not done what I should have done, then I would feel so bad, so condemned.

This condemnation was quite powerful in my life. When I realize how strong this sense of shame can be, it helps me to understand why sexual abuse is so damaging. My children who have been molested grow up thinking that they had done something wrong. "It was my fault. But what did I do wrong? What should have I done? What do I need to do next time?"

All of that thinking is wrong--all wrong.

If people hurt me, or did not hurt me, if people shamed me or did not shame me, the grace of God does not stop flowing towards me.

This is no longer a life of my having to get back at others. This is no longer a life of striving to think, feel, do the right things in order for God to work in my life. You know what all of this internal gymnastics amounts to?  Frustrating the Grace of God.

Paul writes to the Galatians, the church which was being seduced into going back under law:

"20I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

This is not a joke, this is not a game, this is not a mental trick, or a fantasy. Christ lived in Paul, and Christ lives in each of us who believes on Him (Colossians 1:27; Colossians 3:1-4)

Then Paul writes:

21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." (Galatians 2:20-21)

We are not made right with God based on our works. We are righteousness before God because of His grace, because of what His Son did at the Cross:

"For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Jesus became sin for us, and we were made THE righteousness of God in Him. He lives in us, and we live in Him. We are so one with Christ Jesus, that John the Beloved would write:

"Herein is love perfected among us, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

Paul even writes to the  Ephesians:

"For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones." (Ephesians 5:30)

We are part of His literal body! YES!

So, there were times I would be troubled by the wrongs that people were doing to me. I would sometimes pray: 

"God, help me to bear my boss!"

or

"God, please help me figure out what I am doing wrong."

Or

"God, how can I fix this situation?"

The focus was always on ... myself. What did I need to do? What had I done wrong? How could I get my thoughts and feelings in check?

All of this was frustrating God's grace. What He needed me to do, what He needs me to do, what He urges all of us to do is ... to let Him live through us.

No condemnation in Christ! Stop trying to be a good boy, and let God make us all real boys and girls, in that His life flows through us!

YES!

I found myself still being assaulted by these bad memories of a contested event I had attended last month. I was so angry, fearful, shameful about what had happened to me. I remember sitting in the room where all these conflicts were taking place. I kept asking God to "give me wisdom" as to what I should do."

There is no reason to act like that. There is no reason to feel any kind of shame, either.

When I look back at the incident, whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing, the biggest handicap will always be ... condemnation.

"I should have done this ... I should have done that."

No! A child of God no longer lives in those categories. We live under an open heaven, within the New Covenant, receiving the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness!

YES!

This condemnation emerged in other ways, too, in these sense of pressure, imposition: "What are you going to do about this? What are you going to do about that?"

This kind of internal dialogue was all too common in my life. Today, I have learned that it's no longer about what I do, but letting God do through me. It's about literally allowing him to have the wheel and let Him drive.

This is not a game, and this is not a joke. This is a reality!

I was troubled about the challenges in my life. But it was not about me trying to meet the challenges, but rather letting Christ in me greet the challenges and win them over!

The memories of those moments would come back to me, too. I couldn't figure out why the remembrance of those events would make me angry one day, but not make me angry the next day.

The answer has come to me today--Thank you, Jesus, who IS MY WISDOM!:

I would feel condemned about those memories, that I had to do something about them. But there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Christ Jesus is my life, and I do not have to do anything about them.

I do not have to "watch my back" anymore, for:

"He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber." (Psalm 121:3)

and

"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." (Psalm 91:11)

These are not empty promises to make us feel good. This is GOD at work!

All this time, I had been trying so hard. All this time, I was constantly playing emotional whack-a-mole with my feelings.

Now, I understand that not only am I dead to sin (Romans 6:11), but that any tremor or temptation is no longer me, and that I should not feel condemned in any way.

In fact, sin in the flesh has been condemned ALREADY! 

"2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." (Romans 8:2-4)

Jesus is so good, so wonderful! How can we not love Him?! Jesus did a perfect work!