Rooted and Ground

 

"That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love ..." (Ephesians 3:17)

When we believe in Jesus, we are rooted in Him, we are grounded in Him.

We don't shake or fall away when times get tough, when we sin, fall, or fail.

And yet, for years, I used to believe that God would come or go depending on how I felt.

There was no certainty in my life, especially in regards to God's eternal love and never-ending favor for me!

I cannot tell you how many times in my life I had this constant sense of anxiety and worry.

There was this constant nagging in my mind, wondering if God would be there for me or not. 

It's really stunning to what extent I was trying to control my emotions, keep my thoughts and feelings in line so that everything around me would feel stable and security.

For the last few months, I have been learning about trauma and parent-child issues. I can attest that when I was growing up, there was a great degree of instability and insecurity.

In 1995, My mother abandoned me at the Torrance airport when I was 14 years old. She had taken us away from our father the previous year, and then she cast me off when I simply told her that I was depressed. There was no excuse or justification for what she did to me.

Today, I am no longer angry or bitter about what she did. I understand how lost and misguided she was, due to all the wrong believing she had imbibed from the AA cult. Today, I can write about what happened to me.

And AA plays a big part in this vile confusion. That terrible cult tells people that we can get shut off "from the sunlight of the spirit" when we get resentful or angry. 

Of course, that's not true.

God spoke directly to Cain after he plotted, rose up, and murdered his brother Abel. Let's not forget that God spoke directly to Jonah, even questioning him whether he was justified in being angry because God showed His true spirit in being merciful and gracious to the pagans of Nineveh (Jonah 4:9). God does not disappear or go away when we get angry. He does not leave us when we sin, fall, or fail.

We are rooted and grounded in His love!

In sad and stark contrast, any kind of separation and abandonment harms children deeply. Even my father, despite his many flaws, was really upset that my mother just threw me away like that in 1995.

That is trauma, and that fear does not go away easily. It takes time to realize that painful memories from the past have no bearing on who God is in our lives today.

He is an ever-present help for us, no matter how bad things may be around us.

The mistake I constantly made, and many Christians make as we grow in grace, is that we struggle with thoughts and feelings, as if they color or define the ultimate reality in our lives. It really doesn't matter how I feel. God is real, living and moving in our lives, even if we don't understand everything happening around us.

It's amazing how much I tried to clean up and clean out how I was feeling, what I was thinking so that I could believe that all was well, that everything was under control. Today, I am not worried about the potential chaos and upsets of tomorrow.

I am rooted and grounded in His love, and nothing can uproot me.