I feared that the sense of warmth and love I had felt from others would disappear or last only for a moment. The fuel for every human being is love. We live on love, and we were created in the image of Love, i.e. in the image of God:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:26)
Notice that it was God's plan for us to rest in His image, in his standing.
When man sinned, every descendant of Adam was born in Adam's image:
"3And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth" (Genesis 5:3)
Now, in spite of the fall of Adam, we receive life, redemption, and a new identity through Jesus Christ, and we reign in life (Romans 5:17).
God is love:
"He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." (1 John 4:8)
Then
"And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him." (1 John 4:16)
We were created out of Love and to be loved!
What is so hard about receiving this?
Sin, and the lie which led man into sin, that somehow God man's loving Creator was holding out on him.
"And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:4-5)
God was not holding anything back, but had granted everything to Adam and Eve, including dominion over all the animals. Freedom cannot mean anything, however, unless there is a choice made, and for that reason in part God permitted on tree in the garden which was not for them. It was a good tree, just like everything else which God had created, but the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was not for man.
Yet God so loved us, that He had prepared in advance to send His Only Begotten Son Jesus to save us and grant us everlasting life (John 3:16).
This is a love which ensures that we are cared for in unprecedented ways, just as God shared through His prophets the love that He had for Israel, even when they were in outright sinful rebellion:
"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." (Genesis 31:3)
That's a love which belongs to me!
Jesus loves ME!
God loves me just like His own SON!
"15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. 16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." (Romans 8:15-17)
Joint-heirs with Christ, beloved! How about that?!
And there's more:
"20I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." (Galatians 2:20-21)
We live in Him, and we live because of Him!
But the clearest statement of God's love for us, that He loves us just as much as He loves Jesus:
"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)
As Jesus is, so am I in this world!
What lavish love!
In fact, John writes that right to the point!
"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." (1 John 3:1-3)
That unconditional love is essential to every one of us. We absolutely need it.
Solomon the King wrote:
"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned." (Song of Songs 8:7)
We cannot give one thing for love. The more that we try to give God something, the more condemned we find ourselves. There is nothing that we can do to earn God's love.
It's a gift!
"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:9-10)
God gave His Son, God gives His love.
It's time that we started receiving this love.
Now, the revelation which has grown more widely for me. Like many, I had struggled from within and without on key concerns. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, the pride of life (1 John 2:14) will well up in every one of us if we do not know the love of the Father.
There are addictions, bad habits, bad behaviors which weigh on us--and I knew that there was something about God's love that I still did not understand, or there was something that I was believing that was all wrong.
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." (1 John 2:15)
Then it occurred to me looking back over many years ago. I feared losing the connections of certain people in my life. A sense of panic had set in, that I was going to lose something, lose my chance to make key connections with key individuals. This sense of panic that set in would linger within my mind, and I wasn't sure that I could function with it swimming and churning within me.
I thought that I was alone, and I needed to have that sense of love, that sense of warmth through my efforts. I had to be connected to the right people, the right person, and if I missed my chance, then I would lack something.
How wrong I was. I was caught up in so many storms during that time, overwhelmed with a sense of loss. I never realized how active God's love was working in my life and for me. I didn't understand this love. I didn't understand how all-encompassing it is.
That sense of fear, that sense of loss, that sense of longing was so strong. I had this desperate need to get rid of the feeling.
This sense of longing can play out as a lack of sexual fulfillment in our lives. We think that we are going to lose out on on peace and rest within ourselves.
This sense of condemnation was so strong in my life, that I was going to "miss out", that I was not going to know the kind of love and caring which I had received from certain people in my life. That sense of panic was great on so many levels, too. I had no idea how much God was loving me as His child, as His child for years, for decades! I simply did not know!
It's amazing how much those lies, and the damaging, crippling emotions which follow them, can keep us in such bondage. When we unpack the lies, when we understand that any sense of condemnation is false, since there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), we find ourselves with greater freedom and love to be loved--and in turn love others.
We never fear that we are going to miss out on intimacy, love, or fulfillment in our lives, because God is on the job loving us!
"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." (Romans 5:5) His love is shed for me, even when I am not obedient, even when I am failing.
I am not responsible for thinking one way or another in order to feel at peace, or to feel loved.
Sometimes, I thought that I had to "settle" for God's love than the goodness of certain people. Isn't that crazy?! God's love is way better, of course! Far surpasses anything that man could do for me, or what I can ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20).
The one thing that had lingered in me with a sense of loss, though, was that I was missing out on something. That sense of "If I let this or that go, if I fail to connect with this or that person, I will miss out" never made sense. God was interested in my emotional and intimacy fulfillment all the time! He does not want to deprive me at all:
"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."(3 John 2)
He was intimately interested in me in every way, and I never had to worry that my right feeling or wrong feeling would cause me to fail or do wrong in some way. I think that was the part which had brought me the greatest bondage. I would get so caught, so emotionally distraught about certain people, and then I feared that I was missing out on even more.
The truth is, it is not job to seek love, but to RECEIVE LOVE!
His Lavish love for me! And this love is a great gift shed abroad in my heart, which I in turn can then release to others!
It's no wonder that Paul prays:
Thank you Jesus, for your love!
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