I Don't Have to Think or Feel Differently or Keep Feeling a Certain Way for Him to Be Present to Me

  This is really astonishing, but very powerful and wonderful.

I know that the LORD is with me! I understand fully that He is present to me, and that there is nothing that can separate Him from me.

For the longest time, I believed these hollow lies, that I had to feel or think a certain way so that I know that God would be with me, would be present to me. That sense of loneliness, that orphan spirit was strong with me, and I would just panic like crazy if I started struggling with negative, bitter, sad, or perverse thoughts.

It was absolute madness, and it was really painful.

Thank you Jesus, that now I understand that YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE.

You never disappeared from me. You have always been present to me, with me, through me, and for me!

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

This is a done deal! I do not have to do something, say something, keeping thinking or feeling something in order for Him to be with me, for me, through me.

Jesus, it's not about me. It's never been about me. You have always been ready, present, available, accountable, asking for me to reach out to You to ask You to help me.

All this time, You wanted me to reach out to you!

This incredible revelation reminds me of Gillian Shen and her testimony for TrueLove.Is:

Yes, He found me! He found us! We were lost, not Him! This is amazing!

All this time, I kept thinking that I had to have a certain posture. The truth is that You have always been here, You do not go away. I do not have to think or feel differently. You are not going anywhere, and I cannot get away from You! I LOVE YOU, LORD!

"8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

 9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me." (Psalm 139:8-10)

I kept thinking that I had to do something. I know that I keep writing this revelation as if it means something new, but there it is. It IS something new, for me! This is a massive change for the better for me! I do not have to "come back to" Him when I sin, fall, or fail. I am not trying to keep my feelings or thoughts in check. I cannot be separated from Him!

Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Beloved Savior, for being so patient with me! Indeed:

"Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

What is really cool for me, that I am really trying to appreciate, to put into words, I suppose, is that I do not have to use my mind to "hunt" for God, to feel His presence anymore. I know that He is here. I know that He is going nowhere. I know that wherever I go, He is already there. Amen!

More Internal Healing in My Mind

The bad habit of mind that I had engaged in for so long, that habit is dwindling away.

I used to work so hard to catch myself, to catch bad thoughts, to try to make them go away before they would happen, appear in my mind, or worse yet take root.

For the longest time, I was convinced that there were hardships around me, and I had to work hard, do something, feel a certain way so that those bad feelings, those senses of fear and upset would go away.

I really believed that those upsetting elements in my mind had to go away so that I could know and believe that He was with me.

Today, I am learning to reason not from my circumstances to His certainties, but from His eternal certainties to my circumstances. It does not matter how I am feeling. I do not have to counter or argue with my feelings, my thoughts to know that He is taking care of me. I do not have to agitate in mind to make these things true. Not at all.

"4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

This is a great healing, one that reminds me of what Paul writes for all of us to undergo:

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:1-2)

I don't have to "do anything" about bad thoughts. God does not go away, not does He get angry with me and leave me. It makes no difference. It's truly a life of rest!

No wonder Pastor Prince uses the following cover for his book "Spiritual Warfare":

Set Free From Political Polarization, More Than Conquerors in Christ Jesus

 The 2020 Election results have been quite disappointing. I am not sure what to think.

At the same time, I recognize now that I have been following the up and down polarization of this race, and all the news, all the media, all the debates, the discussions, and it is making me very unhappy.

Why bother with all of this stuff?

For years, for decades, I was immersed in politics. I wanted to see "my side" win, and I would get such a buzz if my side won. If my candidates were successful, if the victory that I sought took place. Of course, down the line, I would find that winning elections is simply not enough. We see a generation of youth who think that socialism, communism, racialism is the answer to all our problems.

They are overcome with envy, sorry, victimhood. They see themselves as weak and beggarly, with no chances or opportunities in this life. How sad, indeed. Yet that is what they see for themselves. It's a great sorrow to see this.

All of this sense of lack, of loss is obliterated at the Cross!

"5Who is like unto the LORD our God, who dwelleth on high,

"6Who humbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!

"7He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill;

"8That he may set him with princes, even with the princes of his people.

"9He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD." (Psalm 113:5-9)

The verse about raising the poor of the dust foreshadows what Jesus did for us:

"4But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) 6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:4-6)

and

"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

Our life is about the Finish, or rather the Finished Line!

We are not supposed to reckon our lives from our hardships, and then apply God's Word, God's promises to our lives. We start with God, with everything that Christ Jesus has prepared for us, and then see all our problems melt away or face resolution.

I am not supposed to look at the evil going on in the world, and then ask "Lord, when are you going to do something about all of this?" He is already on the job, working on it! Yes!

We need to start with the promises that God has made to us, which He has enacted for us through the Work of His Son! That's our starting point. That needs to be MY starting point.

That's why Paul would write:

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." (Romans 8:37)

Consider what John writes, too:

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

and

"Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

and also

"For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." (1 John 5:4)

We have already won, and not just won, but we are more than conquerors through Him! Why do we pay attention to the fallout, the failures, and the failings of the world? Why do we pay any heed to the bad outcomes or the massive moral morass in our countries?

He has overcome the world! And we are more than conquerors in Him!

This is my starting point: Himself. YES!