Why We Stop Holding Grudges: The Grace of God

Holding grudges is so natural to man.

People hurt us, and we want to hurt them.

People in our lives took something away, and in turn we want them to know how much it hurt us.

Yet, even in cases like the death penalty, where the violent offender gets killed for his crime, the friends and family of the victim feel no peace.

There is something in man which is not satisfied with retribution.

We may punch back, even twice as hard, and hurt the people who have hurt us. We can slam individuals who have done damage to our reputation or our careers.

Yet we have still lost something, and the only result from revenge? The other person loses something, too.

We still have lost something.

So, how do we assuage the anger, frustration, and bitterness of prior losses and hurts?

We see how much better God has given us.

"1Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." (1 John 3: 1-3)

We also recognize how much He has graced us, and that it turn empowers us to be gracious to others:

"31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4: 31-32)

I have since realized that since He has taken care of all things, that He is greater than my times and all time, it really does not make sense to hold grudges.

At their core, grudges imply that we have to do something to restore or protect something. A grudge implies that if there are any scores to be settled, we have to do something.

Yet we have the promise through Jesus, that our Father will freely provide all things (Romans 8:31-32)

Why did I have  a hard time resting on these promises?

I simply did not see Jesus big enough, or my Daddy God interested in restoring to me everything that I had lost, or which other people had taken from me.

Yet if I simply opened my eyes, I have that in many cases, God more than overpaid the losses, huts, and sufferings which I had faced.

What was the one thing that kept making me angry? The notion that I had to prevent those bad things from happening to me in the first place.

That is wrong. We do not have to prevent bad things from happening to us.

I do not have to feel bad about other people making me feel bad. It is not my job to avenge myself -- at all!

Therefore, because I am neither responsible for my protection or my provision: He is!

"10For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:

 

11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

 

12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8: 10-12)

 

 

We stop holding grudges because we recognize that we are not in charge to right every wrong, to correct every problem, and that the most officious of conflicts cannot stop, but in fact can enhance God's blessings in our lives!

 

"9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

He Has Provided Everything

This is a new way of looking at life.

Life is nothing to figure out.

Nor is it something that I have to create.

Life is a Person, Jesus, and He is intimately interested in my having life to its fullest.

I am not trying to figure everything out. Everything has been figured out.

Someone Else did a much better job of putting everything together for me.

Indeed, He has provided everything. I am merely stepping into the fullness which He has created.

I cannot tell you how hard it has been the last few years.

Letting go really is the hardest thing to do.

There are so many things which we want to hold onto to force to make work out the way that we want them to.

I was obsessed with knowing what would be around the next corner. I had to have the whole road mapped out for me.

Now I understand more than ever what Jesus meant when He said:

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14: 6)

There is no other way, because He is greater than any pathway which can be taken.

He has carved out the road which He wants us to take:

"3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." (Psalm 23: 3)

First, He restores our soul, then He leads us in the paths of righteousness:

"But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." (Proverbs 4: 18)

Everything indeed is a gift from God:

"31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?  (Romans 8: 31-32)

The only problem was that I did not see Him large enough, as though He could hold onto, let alone take care of, tomorrow.

Today, I understand what Pastor Joseph Prince talks about when he preaches about the rest of God.

The writer of Hebrews makes perfect sense, too, when he writes about entering the rest:

"1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it." (Hebrews 4: 1)

and also

"11Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4: 11)

We Know Where We Are Going

No, man is not floating in a dreary emptiness, with no clear idea where he is headed.

Faith is not a blind leap into absurdity, either.

Faith is an intelligent recognition of all that Jesus has done, even if the immediate physical manifestation is not keen present to us:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11: 1)

This faith is not about getting a new car or your own home, but about recognizing what Jesus did at the Cross:

"17By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, 18Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called: 19Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure." (Hebrews 11: 17-19)

The figure mentioned above? None other but Christ Jesus!

"39And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise: 40God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect." (Hebrews 11: 39-40)

What promise? The writer of Hebrews explains in the next chapter:

"1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12: 1-2)

Faith is about . . . .Jesus!

He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14: 6)

We know where He is going:

"1Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 2In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know." (John 14: 1-4)

The last book of the Bible, Revelation, does speak of end time destructions. Yet for those who believe in Jesus, there is nothing but glory awaiting us in Him:

"1And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb. 2In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. 3And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him: 4And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads. 5And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever." (Revelation 22: 1-5)

I used to live in chronic fear, bedeviled with questions like: "What about tomorrow? What if?"

The argument that I should "just trust God" was not acceptable. In fact, Jesus Himself never forced that standard on anyone:

"But if I do, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know, and believe, that the Father is in me, and I in him." (John 10: 38)

We know where we are going because we have the promise of His reign, and because of the abundance of grace and gift of righteousness, we reign in life with Him (Romans 5:17)

We know where we are going, and we know that He is with us for the entire ride.

His Love is Big Enough

I knew that God loved me.

I just never believed that He was big enough.

Love means nothing without acceptance, no question about it.

Love also means nothing with preeminence, or power.

That was the part that I was missing.

I did not Jesus big enough.

I did not understand that He has taken up every element of the universe, all of time and space, and that He cares intimately about me, too!

My understanding of Jesus was too small.

Love means nothing if the Lord who loves you is too little to fight for you.

Today, I know differently. I believe differently, and I understand fully why Paul stressed the intense necessity of knowing how big is God's love:

"14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3: 14-19)

Notice that Paul went out of his way to "bow my knees."

He was begging very strongly for everyone of us to have an expansive revelation of how much God our Father loves  us. The physical dimensions of this love far surpass anything that our minds can take in in one take, either.

God's love is big enough, and it is personal enough.

Today, I do not have to worry about whether He will love me tomorrow. His love is big enough.