The Never-Ending Love of God Was Always There -- I Just Didn't Realize It

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. (pg 66, Alcoholics Anonymous CULT)

In 2012, shortly after I learned more deeply about the Gospel of Grace, I began to pick apart, then ultimately rip into shreds the whole Alcoholics Anonymous program, including the "Big Book".

My mother was so invested in Alcoholics Anonymous, that she placed the Bible and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on the same plane. Such thinking is even more corrupted and mistaken than Peter's attempt to place Jesus, Moses, and Elijah all in tents.

God the Father intervened quickly and declared: "This is my beloved Son. Hear Him!" Not the law, not the prophets, but listen to Jesus!

Sadly, many Christians are listening to Jesus and Bill Wilson, as though he was some kind of modern-day prophet or evangelist. The truth is that Bill W. wanted to replace Christ Jesus entirely. Private correspondance from a former follower of his announced the following:

"[He thought that] he was completing the work that Christ didn't finish & according to Horace he said he was a reincarnation of Christ."

That is evil blashemy, nothing more.

Jesus was not mincing words or holding back when He shouted on the Cross: "It is Finished." (John 19:30)

He Finished the Work. He took all our sin and gave us His righteousness, His standing, and His life.

I have been meditating on God's Word and His Goodness in so many ways. I have learned so much about God's Grace, His Love.

I can't cut off His love for me. My feelings cannot cut off God's love for me.

And yet, I had believed for the longest time that if I was angry, if I had been feelings, bad thoughts, if I was thinking illicit ways, then it was cutting of God's love for me.

How wrong I was!

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Genesis 8:38-39)

Nothing can separate us from God's love for us.

Yet for decades, for the greatest part of my life, I never knew about how much God loved me. I often believed that I had to get rid of these bad feelings, or I would focus on or pump up God's love for me so that I could get rid of the bad thoughts, the bad feelings within me.

Over the last two days, though, I have started to realize that God's intense love for me has been at work, working on me for the longest time. I didn't realize this as profoundly as I needed to until recently.

Indeed, He has been working a great work on me!

When I first believed on Christ Jesus as my Savior, my Lord, He loved me intently, and He was committed to doing everything that He could to bless me.

It's not like I needed to get a greater awareness to make His love for me real. What I needed to abandon was this sentiment, this lie that I needed to get rid of the bad feelings, the inappropriate thoughts, in order to receive or better understand His love for me.

Why did I think this way Why did I have this erroneous belief that I had to get rid of the bad feelings and thoughts so that I would better understand God's Love for Me, that I would know that His presence was always with me?

Because of Alcoholics Anonymous, this notorious, fraudulent cult.

Consider the above passage from pg. 66 of the "Big Fraud Book", at the top of this post. If we get angry, AA claims, we are cutting ourselves off from "the sunlight of the spirit."

That is a total lie. In fact, sometimes our getting angry is a just response and a needed motivation for us to stand up to evil in our midst. It's OK to be angry; but it's not OK for us to sin in our anger. That's the difference.

What is really wonderful, however, is that His great love was at work in my life all this time. There was no reason for me to wonder if He was there for me or not.

There is so much more for me to write about on this subject, but then those revelations will veer off into other principles for life and good living. I will touch on them presently.

Nothing Can Separate Me From God's Love

God loves me, and nothing can separate me from His love.

In contrast to this truth, Alcoholics Anonymous teaches that to be angry, to be upset cuts us off from the "sunlight of the spirit."

That is not true.

I am certain that I have written about this topic many times before, but I am interested, invested in writing about it again.

Paul writes to the Romans:

"35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

"36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

"37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39)

Nothing can separate us from God's love at all.

Yet I used to think that I had to work as hard as I could to "feel" a certain way. I needed to get all the bad emotions out of my head, my mind, my anything in order to function in the world. This contortion brought me so much pain, so much frustration.

"What if I have that memory and I get mad all over again?" I would think. I was reflecting so much on myself, on my emotions. There was so much bondage that had overcome me on account of this. I felt that I had to go out of my way to tell someone how angry, how hurt I was about the different behaviors, the different pains, the different sentiments of outrage which I had gone through.

God, what a miserable life I led. I was so easily offended, that I just didn't want to interact with anyone anymore. The power ended up in other people's hands. People could say or do just about whatever they wanted, and no matter what happened, I could just get so easily upset, then I got upset about being upset ...

And what was the root of all this bondage?

That getting angry, hurt, confused, whatever was going to separate me from God, that it was going to bring into some kind of emotional bondage.

Yet I have been blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:6).

I start at the finish line, I start with being complete in Him (Colossians 2:15), and this peace no one can take away from me. I can even tell my loving Daddy God that people make me feel bad, sad, mad, glad, whatever.

He is still there loving me, and He invites me to gain a greater revelation of His love for me, too.

This is just awesome and has given me a greater release into this life!

Place the Cross in the Midst of Your Bitter Moments, and Jesus Makes Them Sweet

I have learned so much about God's love for me. I am starting to realize more and more that His love for me was always strong and available.

We can take our Daddy God's Finished work and place it within the most bitter moments in our lives.

I remember before graduating from high school, how I had endured intense pain and hurt in my life. I was lonely and lost. I also struggled with intense shame because of what my mother had done to me when I was younger.

An intense of fear and shame had overwhelmed me. I could not understand why, and what was going on in my life at the time. The sense of hurt, the impending sense of fear and loss, that I was doing something wrong, and that I would miss out on a strong friendship or an opportunity had so engulfed me.

I look at who Jesus is today, and I see that He is a magnificent Savior NOW, but He had loved me since the beginning!

So, where do we find the type that speaks of Jesus' Finished work, and how we can derive peace and hope and draw peace and sweetness from the hurts in our lives?

Check out the waters of Marah:

22So Moses brought Israel from the Red sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur; and they went three days in the wilderness, and found no water. 23And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah. 24And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink? 25And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them.

Notice that the LORD showed Moses a tree. Moses did not have to find the tree on his own, and he did not have to grow the tree himself. God our loving Father provided what was needed.

This tree is a picture of the Cross, our beloved Savior Jesus dying on the tree, taking away the curse of the law against us (Galatians 3:13), becoming sin, that we may become the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

We can take the Cross, the Finished Work of Jesus Christ, and place what He accomplished in the midst of our worst days, our hardest moments, the most painful times in our lives.

I realize now that God my Daddy was not abandoning me during those rough times. He had always been there, and He was ready to assist, if I would have only allowed him to. Yet even today, I know that God can reach into our past and bring forth blessings and wonders for our present and the future!

Consider the account of Tamar, who deceived her father-in-law Judah in order to have a child (Genesis 38). In spite of the great wickedness of deception, prostitution, and incest which ensued, God blessed Tamar and the two boys born to her (Genesis 38: 27-30).

The blessings are manifold which ensued:

1The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

2Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren; 3And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram; 

Judah and Tamar were ancestors of the Great Kings David and Solomon, but most importantly the King of Kings, Jesus!

What else have I learned from placing Jesus into the midst of terrifying times and bad memories?

I realized that there was nothing stopping God's blessings in my life. He was actively loving me, and His life flowing through me had nothing to do with how I was feeling or what I was thinking. I never had to fear or feel condemnation for what I was thinking or feeling.

I would fear losing friendships or losing relationships with individuals. I worried about the loss or the lack that might ensue. Then I realized that because My Daddy loves me, and His Son died for me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20-21), that I had nothing to lose, even if I lost something or someone.

I realize now that He is in the business of blessing me with everything I need and what I want, that I prosper within and without (3 John 2).

This other lie persisted in my mind, too, that I had a limited time to have or not have something. That I needed to rush and ensure time and energy with certain people, or it would be "too late." What I see now is that I did not feel loved, I did not realize how loved I was.

All of that is changing, now, and because I realize how much He loves me (that's right--ME!)

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Notice that Paul repeats "me" twice. There is nothing with appreciating, magnifying God's love for you!

That was Paul's chief prayer for fellow believers:

14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ ... 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ ... (Ephesians 3: 14, 17-19)

This was a major issue for Paul, that we would understand how much Christ Jesus loves us.

When we understand how vast, how expansive God's love is for us, we can then see His love at work, even in our darkest moments, during those times when we thought we were alone or lost, or that God did not care.