Why I Was So Turned Up and Frustrated (As If!)

Dark times had descended upon me in my life.

Dark times.

I was having a hard time in life.

Even when everyone else was telling me that I was doing a good job, I never felt OK.

I never believed that everything would stay OK from one day to the next, either.

This sense of fear, of foreboding, was always haunting me.

Today, I know what that feeling was:

"For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. " (Hebrews 10: 26-27)

The truth which the writer of Hebrews is speaking of relates to the Gospel, that in Christ all our sins are put away and we are fully justified, made righteous.

Furthermore, when Jesus died on the Cross, He cut a new covenant with the whole human race, which we receive as follows:

"10For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:

 

11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

 

12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8: 10-12)

 

Everything is taken care in Christ, for we receive His life, and His laws (the law of the Spirit, love, life, liberty,  and faith), and we are guided by His grace and peace.

 

He supplies to us, as well.

 

I had no knowledge that I was supposed to live by faith in all that Jesus did for me. There is so much more to the Gospel which I was not aware of. The big reason why? The AA cult, which taught me to keep looking at my faults and failures, rather this His Finished Work and His faith.

 

If we are still looking to ourselves, then what we left with? Our sins and habits, which are not removed from us, plus the fearful looking after of judgment.

 

That fear was unbearable. I believed that the whole world rested on my shoulders, and I had to hold my feeling and thoughts in check so that the world would not fall apart around me. The pain and struggle was just so great.

I had misconstrued a scripture, a misunderstand which had forced me to think that I had to engage in a debilitating mind control to be safe and sound.

I had no full understanding of the Cross, of what it meant. I read through so much in my life, and I was incorporating everything in the Bible through AA. That was just wrong.

And evil, and destined to inflict nothing but bondage.

I was so turned up and frustrated because I had not been rightly dividing the Word of God, and such failed outcomes are inevitable when placing Jesus next to anything else, as if what He did at the Cross was not enough.

Sin Condemned, not Removed, in the Flesh

Capnklump July 14, 2012 at 5:31 AM

I have been STRUGGLING with this a few years now. I am a born again Christian, who has been led to believe that I "suffer" from this "disease" of alcoholism..... The more I study The Bible, the more I'm led to believe it is not a disease at all, but a work of the flesh. I am coming more & more to believe that what is really needed is for me to truly repent from dead works of the flesh & take the hand of Christ & be led in the way to everlasting life.

 

One of the first posts which I prepared for this blog -- Errors of Alcoholics Anonymous -- focused on debunking the hollow, awful, and evil-distorted lie that alcoholism, or any other perversion/addiction.
 

I hope that Capnklump reads this post, too, when he has a chance.

I realized earlier that alcohol addiction is a work of the flesh. I reported on this truth when I was reading Galatians.

What I did not yet learn was that even though we have this flesh on us, this self-life principle which longs to do wrong and yet try to make itself right, this flesh has been condemned, and the sin which emanates from our flesh can no longer bring us into condemnation:

"1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. " (Romans 8:1-4)

There is no condemnation in Christ. None. Even when we sin (action). I accept that. Even when I fail in my actions, fine.

But when it came to upset feelings or resentments, I would still get hung up.

And the biggest issue that would take me down: this ugly little voice inside of me that would badger me with "What are you doing to do when this person or that person makes you mad? What are you going to do about it?"

That is the voice of the enemy.

Not only have our sins been paid for, but the sin in our flesh has been condemned, as well:

"3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:"

We still have sin in our flesh. Not just works of the flesh, but the sin in our flesh is still there.

But it is condemned, and in Christ we are dead to sin:

"8Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 9Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 10For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. 11Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6: 8-11)

Dead to sin means dead to the condemnation of sin. We will still have sinful tendencies in our bodies and our minds, and we will still fall short, but every sin has been paid for forever in Christ. There is no need or value in our confessing our sins or going through the motions of doing good works to pay for what we have done.

We have received a perfected, purged conscience in Christ Jesus!

While at the time I revealed that alcoholism is a sin of the flesh, not a disease from which we can never be cured (which kind of begs the question -- why call it a disease in the first place?).

The issue for us, then, is not to get rid of the sinful feelings, nor to ignore them, but to recognize that all our sins have been paid for. The bad feelings, the bad thoughts -- have been paid for! They have been condemned in the body of Jesus, so that we can stop condemning ourselves:

"Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed." (1 Peter 2: 24)

Notice that when we are dead to sins, we live in righteousness, and those sins were all paid for in Jesus' body, not His spirit.

The sin in our flesh, including alcoholism and drug addictions, or even sexual perversions, have all been paid for. To the degree, however, that we try to control those perversions, as long as we think that we can do something, or that we can control it in our own efforts, we are setting ourselves up for more failure, frustration, depression, destined to wonder and wander in the wilderness of our flesh.


 

 

 

He is Our Life and Our Rest

I have written at length, with uncompromising zeal.

There is no life or recovery in Alcoholics  Anonymous.

None.

The idea that I can turn my will and life over to a power greater than myself is pure nonsense when you talk about a higher power that you came up with.

Right away, your higher power is just not high enough.

Even the 16th century rationalist had more knowledge and understanding than that. If you can think of a Supreme Being, right away your idea of God is still too small.

Granted, such a priori thinking can get slippery really fast, but it bears some scrutiny because God cannot be conceived.

He conceived us.

And He has great plans in story for us, which cannot fit within the hollow bounds of Twelve Steps or religious formulas.

Yesterday, I remembered the following verse:

"28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

This verse presents to us our Lord Jesus, a tireless servant who wants us to lean on His direction and guidance, and trust that He is doing all things in our lives.

Rather than forcing outcomes through our efforts, we see His life pouring out through us.

I am not living this life. He is living in me.

I am not trying to do anything on my own. He is the Life who lives and works in me.

It has nothing to do with my thoughts or my feelings, either.

Now that I realize how good God really is, the next set of questions emerge: why did I not believe that Jesus is this good? That his yoke is easy and His burden is indeed light. In fact, Jesus' burden is not only easy, but it creates ease. It blesses us. It is gracious!

Too many people want to minimize God's goodness and maximize "our part."

When you see yourself weary and heavy-lade, it's time to see Him as the true yoke-fellow, and see yourself putting every need on his shoulders, casting your cares on Him (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Again I have to ask: why did  I not believe this?

I grew up in a household where law and works and man's effort had such preeminence. It was all about "God helps those who help themselves."

There is just one BIG problem -- our selves, ourselves, is completely bankrupt. We need His help, and not just for some things, but for all things.

A conception of God is simply not enough for us to comprehend how great -- and how good -- Jesus is.

He wants us to rest, and He wants us to know and believe that His love is so great, that all our needs are met in Him!

He is our rest, He is our everything. I do not want to settle with some petty conception of God which is only as big as my thinking.

He is our life and our rest.

I kid you not. I simply asked the prayer, that I could understand how He is taking care of all things. There was so much about the Finished Work of Jesus Christ that I simply did not know. I was not aware of how active and real He is, I was so busy looking at myself.

No.

Let us look to Christ Jesus, seated at God the Father's right  hand. For that is where we are!

Can't conceive it -- just believe it!

SHAM: The Humpty-Dumpty Syndrome

Now here's an idea I never thought about:

"[T]he impresarios and self0styled healers of the twelve-step world went one better than finding a need: They created  a need by devising a twisted metphysic wherein caring about people equals codependency. . .For the individual consumer, Recovery may be worse than merely wasteful. 'The problem with a lot of it,' says James Q. Wilson, 'is the unfortunate and diabolical human tendency to reject the good news while embracing the bad.'"

Wow! How true that is. No wonder Adam and Eve were in so much trouble the moment that they looked at themselves after eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. No matter how hard we try to cover up our imperfections, the need to fix something else will replace whatever we took care of.  Reminds me of one scene from the movie "Manic": You have a problem. You fixed. You have another problem. Then you fix that."

Not much of a life, yet a pattern which defines much of self-help, especially the AA cult.

Salerno continues:

"Therein lies the supreme and fatal paradox of Recovery, and of so much for self-help in general: It is easily capable of persuading followers that they're gravely flawed. But getting people to the next step--that they can change--is a major stretch. Many in this created class of victims never attain 'wellness.'" (Pg 158-159)

I know and believe that for Bill W. with Alcoholics Anonymous, he knew full-well that there would be no wellness for the converts forced into that awful cult. To stigmatize individuals as alcoholics, as though the malady is a disease, and then inform the newly-christened (or cursed) as alcoholics creates the very problems which the struggling suffers were seeking to overcome.

"The result is what some label the Humpty-Dumpty Syndrome--wherein we're taken apart, but your pieces can't be put together again."

Honestly, all the pieces can come together, through Christ:

"Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: 16For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: 17And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Colossians 1: 15-17)

That word "consist" means "held together", by the way, in that Jesus holds this world together, and us as well.

While men are good at point out what is wrong with us, the Holy Spirit has been introduced into our lives to manifest the Gospel, that we receive a new bearing, a  new self, and a deep conviction of righteousness (John 16: 8-11)

While because of Adam all men fell, like the Big Egg Humpty Dumpty but with far greater and messier consequences, the Second Adam, Jesus Christ, not only puts us together again, but fills us with something sweet, and then enshrines us like the most priceless Faberge egg out there!

Forgive me my metatophors, because all that Jesus has done for me is more than I can share in just one post, and still I am learning!

SHAM Reveals So Much More

 SHAM: How the Self-Help Movement Made American Helpless

Steve Salerno's book has been quite a helpful book.

He reveals how a modern matnra  of "self-improvement" has done anything but.

Just like a frustrated OCD patient with dirt on his hands will continue to clean himself, and only make himself dirtier, so too men and women in the world, whether born again or not, continue running to self-help books to break themselves free of their problems, as if the next guru, the next spiritual program, the guide on weight loss or relationships, will break them out of their frustrated, empty lives.

Mankind is empty because they have removed God, they do not understand the riches and the fullness of all that He is.

They have not look on the Savior, to see a loving God who wants to provide all things, who wants us to take our eyes off ourselves and place them on Himself.

On Him who has been from the beginning:

"12I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake. 13I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. 14I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one." (1 JOhn 2: 12-14)

We need ot know that all our sins are forgiven. All our imperfections are taken care of, too, paid for at the Cross. This truth is much needed in our world today, where replacing God with ourselves has created a culture of men and women who do not grow up, who believe that everything is about them, and finding that they do not measure up (or that life is rather dissatisfying) they spend their lives trying to improve themselves or their circumstances, as if all of these things will make them feel better.

Oh, that mantra "feel better" -- how that has contributed to make us feel all the worse!

We do not need to feel better. We need to know and believe the following:

Fathers - who know Jesus, who has been from the beginning, the source of life, the beginning and the end of all things. Strictly speaking, when we understand fully that life is not about us, but about Him, then we have His Life, and that more abundantly!

Now, what does a discussion about SHAM -- Self-Help and Actualization Movements -- have to do with Alcoholics Anonymous?

Too much which has not been revealed.

At its core, Alcoholics Anonymous is all about teaching people that they can progress from their illness, which also defines them, and have something better today compared to what they did yesterday.

A program which points out that self is our biggest problem, at the same time aggravates self by pushing self-improvement, even though the Twelve Steps allege that there is some Higher Power which is helping us.

We do not need a Higher Power to help us. We need the Highest Power, who is all things, and works in and through us.

We need to know this God as Father, we need ot know that through HIm we have overcome all dangers and upsets. We also need to understand that Jesus, the only Son and very image of God the Father, holds all things together.

And He loves us! Wow! He loves us!

This love cannot be communicated through our own conception, and requires us to stop looking at ourselves and start paying attention to His payment for us.

I Really Was Thinking Too Much

"Stop thinking so much!" people were always telling me.

I was thinking too much? I thought that we had to think, that we had to figure everything out, that we had to have all the answers.

No.

We do not need answers. We need the Answer. We do not need to figure everything out. We need to know Him who has everything figured out.

I did not need to be thinking so much, as much as I needed to know that He is thinking and taking care of all things.

Yet why did I not submit myself to the simple rest of trusting that Jesus Christ, He who has been from the beginning, had been taking care of everything from the Beginning?

1. AA

I was raised to live "my life" by those hollow, crappy, wicked precepts, all of which presuppose some kind of strength in man.

We have no strength apart from Jesus:

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." (John 15: 5)

Because of Him, though, we can do all things:


"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4: 13)

and

"Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily." (Colossians 1: 29)

and also

"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." (1 Corinthians 15: 10)

And don't forget this:

"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him." (1 John 4: 9)

As long as my understanding of Jesus was crippled by a cult which taught me to look and teach myself, which told me that I could make myself better, with God's "help", I could look forward to nothing but going around and around, wandering and wondering why "my life" was going nowhere.

When we understand that He is our life (Colossians 3 : 1-4), then we find that He is taking care of all things, and thus we do not have to think about everything, as if God Himself is not on the job. He is not only on the job, but He is the job, for He is working in us, both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Philippians 2: 12-13)

It is not our job to think about what to do, as if we have to make up for God's lack of energy, or that we have to live this life.

He is our life, and He is living and working in us for all things. Our job is to believe on Him, that He was sent for us, to die for us, to live for us, and that He is all things for us, whatever we may face.

We Need a New Self: Himself

AA is wrong on too much, because there is a little bit in AA which registers some truth.

We need to be reborn, but this rebirth presupposes the truth that we have received a new life, and that we have become a new creation.

The Bible offers us Sonship through the Spirit of God.

AA condemns us to sin and shame, a status of "alcoholic" which a member can never relinquish or flee.

In effect, man is no better in an AA meeting, since the sin in our flesh remains the primary identity of the member.

Then it gets worse. As members who are defined by the very perversion from which they wish to break free, is it any wonder that so few people actually get sober in an AA meeting?

Even those members who do get sober have very little to show for the empty life which they are called to. What value is there in an a life in which you have to take your inventory every day, where you find that those "defects of character" never go away?

They can never go away, for we are beyond help in and of ourselves.

We need a new self:

"That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses." (Matthew 8: 17)

Infirmities speak of our sinful flesh not just our sins, but the very sin nature of dead Adam which we have all received because of the first man and his sin against God.

Yet God's love is greater than man's sin, and through this Love, we receive life and that more abundantly!

We cannot fix ourselves, and we cannot maintain any semblance of life and hope through our efforts, as good as we try to make them. Righteousness is not something that we earn, but something that we receive and keep receiving through Christ Jesus (Romans 5: 17)

For years, I never understood what it meant to let go and let God, because the very cult which presume to teach us to let go never reconciles the fact that the whole Twelve Step program is something that we do.

If we are turning our will and life over to a power greater than ourselves, then should not this power be able to live in and through us, too?

Exactly:

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2: 20)

This Jesus cannot be conceived, He is so good. We either believe the truth of the Gospel, or we don't.

The Biblical record is the  place for us to see Him who has been from the beginning. Either you believe Him and receive more of Him, or you fall back into your own efforts, the way of Cain, and gain nothing but bitterness and upset.

We need a new self, not a new way to fix our old self. Receive Himself, and reign in life!