Another Pharisee -- Mario: Part II

Mario was just like my Dad, showing that I was still looking for some Dad to depend on for everything. He was steeped in the "manhood cult", that by having a job, a wife, and a meeting to go to meant that he measured up the standard of a man.

Yet a man who is striving in his own efforts is still dead in his works, and a man who does not even believe on Christ Jesus is dead in his trespasses, and no amount of "manhood" makes one a worthy.

This ugly doctrine has worked its way into many "men's groups", a bunch of foolishness which makes no difference whatsoever for anything.

We all have a Heavenly Father, and Jesus Himself jealously guarded his standing:

"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." (Matthew 23: 9)

The more that we learn that we have received the Spirit of adoption (Romans 8: 15), that we have a Father in heaven who lavishly loves us, who has provided all things for us because His Son took all the shames and the beatings and the privations for us, then we rest in the truth that we are taken care of in all things.

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8: 15)

"Abba" means "Daddy", the cry of an infant completely dependent and identified with God the Father. The "manhood cult" which was dominant in those Celebrate Recovery meetings that I used to attend was all too prevalent. I still recall another member who was reading a book called "The Father Wound", yet there is a better term for this "wound": spiritual death, and the answer is redemption, remission of sins, and resurrection life in Christ Jesus.

Yet for those who still think that they can, or that they must, go through the motions of believing and hoping and trying to get better on their own, the next best thing is an old man bereft of humility, who prides himself on "taking people through the Twelve Steps."

The Twelve Steps to perdition, of course.

When does this insanity end? For me, it took a long time before I began to realize that the people whom I was reaching out to were not helping me at all.

Mario was the worst offender because he really thought that he was doing me a favor. This guy would let me call him and let me pour out all my problems. What I needed was a heavy dose of righteousness, not a bunch of empty, heedless advice.

This man was so arrogant, and I was so ignorant, that I had spend so much running everything in my life by this guy, so convinced was I that I could not rest and trust God to see me through everything by the power of His Holy Spirit.

Every time I had to make a decision, I found myself running the issue by someone else. I simply could not trust myself, I was so afraid that I would so something foolish or wrong. I had such a conscience of sin, fully unwilling to rest because I knew nothing about grace and righteousness. I was totally accepted in righteousness before God, and I can now trust His grace to see me through every trouble.

Yet like many people in the Body of Christ, including Mario, I had no knowledge of righteousness or grace, none whatsoever. So, I resigned myself to confessing my sins over and over, and calling up Mario every time my life was not going the way that I hoped it would. I spent hours applying for jobs that I did not want, I spend at least two days a week going to meetings that I hate, convinced that I had to run my life by "a group" of people so that I did not make the same mistakes which I had made in the past.

The more time that I spent in these meetings, however, the more mistakes that I ended up making. I found myself losing my temper even more. I found that I had no peace whatsoever, no matter how hard I tried to make peace with the world. I was so frustrated, so unable to go forward or backward.

Of course, anyone living under law will experience nothing but this frustration of going around and around in circles. Could it possibly be otherwise?

Still, the notion of working the Twelve Steps over and over seemed like the only other way to get through this life. It seemed like the best that I could ever hope for, so scared was I that I would fail, that I would fall, that I would lose my way in this life.

But this was not my life that I was called to lead. We are called to let Christ Jesus live in us!

This has no salience for men and women in "Celebrate Recovery" and other hollow Twelve Step meetings.

Another Pharisee -- Mario

Then there was this guy, Mario.

This guy loved being the "elder" or "the old timer" in the meeting.

He acted as if he had it all together. He pretended to be my friend, he wanted to help me out, I am sure that he did.

Yet I was surprised that the more that I talked to this guy, the more he turned out to be one more perverted old guy who still had not grown up.

He was the type who boasted about praying for two or three hours. He was the type of person who spent so much time trying to make people see how religious he was.

He proudly bore his "Yes on Prop 8" bumper stick, and he made a stink over and over about homosexuality.

He talked about sex a lot, too. This guy was out of control on the inside, I am sure, for that is what law-keeping will do to people.

I had asked for this guy to be my "sponsor", another someone with whom I could be dependent, a guy whom I could run and call whenever I was having trouble.

I am still astonished how much this guy was like my father. He would make jokes about "Good stuff, Maynard" from the Doby Gillis show.

He told me that if things got really bad, he could just give me a bowl of popcorn. Like many men, it seemed, his highest ambition was just quelling the unrest in people so that they would stop feeling sad, and therefore he could feel better about himself.

This man was estranged from his kids, just as I was estranged from my father and mother at the time. I was so lost in the days, so unsure about anything in this life, so overwhelmed with all the problems that I was facing, and I was still convinced that I had to, that I could work hard enough to break free from the all hardships which I was facing.

This arrogance on my part took me a long time to separate from. I was still trying to live this Christian life myself, and no one had bothered to explain to me that it was not only difficult, but downright impossible to live the Christ-ian life. Christ lives this life in me, and I rest in Him so that He can break forth.

This notion of "Rest so that God Works" is lost on many Americans, who are still giving into the cult of manhood and rugged individualism, falling in line with the empty paradigm of provider and protector which those corny 1950's TV sitcoms used to glorify.

Christ gives us life, and that more abundantly, not a storybook fable with everything in nice and neat creases, with June Cleaver ready to serve a chocolate cake so that everyone will sit down and make no noise.

The Original Cause - Shame and Prohibition

The United States has endured the over-moralizing and underwhelming Temperance movement for years.

In the early eighteen hundreds, though, alcohol abuse was a major problem, largely due to the poor water sources in rapidly expanding urban centers.

The water was so bad, that men would resort to "the water of life".

The Temperance Movement then reached its way into the highest eschelons of the government, with advocates displaying anti-alcohol rhetoric in kid's textbooks. Ken Burns issued a massive documentary exposing how temperance leaders infiltrated schools, thus poisoning kids' minds and heightening society's intolerance to alcohol abuse.

If a man or woman chooses to drink, that's up to him or her.

I do not drink, myself. I do not care for the stuff. I had one glass of wine when I was fifteen, got sick off the stuff, and decided that I did not want to drink anymore.

I do believe that there are people who drink and harm themselves by choosing to do so. I also believe that some people do not have the physical constitution for drinking.

What made "drinking" such a serious problem, then, for people, especially in the early 1900s.

The shame about having a drinking problem -- thus brings so many people into bondage.

Alcoholism, like another perversion in human life, is borne of man trying to get something for himself, when what we all need is life, and that more abundantly.

The shame about having a drinking problem, this leads individuals to strive in their own efforts to break free, and the result is the exact opposite, they end up sinking deeper into the drink.

The shame about alcohol dependence brings people into bondage, pure and simple.

During the age of Prohibition, men and women went to jail because of alcohol abuse, which does not set people free, but brings them into greater condemnation. Now they feel compelled to get sober, because they are afraid to go to jail, but then the problem gets worse, not better.

When Alcoholics Anonymous meetings began, men and women were so ashamed of their "disease" that they would wear masks when they came into meetings. The real problem, therefore, was not the drinking, but the shame about drinking.

Yet to label people according to their perversion does more harm than good. There is no pride in parading one's shame, as if that can set anyone free.

Deal with the condemnation, then the drinking will fall away like dead leaves off a living tree:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8: 1, NIV)

and

"For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2 Corinthians 5: 21)

As we are established in His righteousness, which is a gift that He wants us to keep receiving (Romans 5: 17), and this gift allows His Spirit to live and thrive in us:

"But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Corinthians 3: 18)

God wants us to change from within, which He accomplishes in us by His Spirit, not by our effort.

AA - Never Growing Up

The men and women in this program feel compelled to run their lives by other people. They never grow, they never grow up, because they have not learned that in the Scripture God invites us to be his little children.

"Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

"That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;" (Ephesians 4: 13-14)

The Twelve Steps, with the nonsense that men and women must run their lives by other people in order to live their lives, is a glaring wave of doctrine which is wafting people away from the simplicity that is in Christ (2 Corinthians 11: 3).

The Twelve Steps are steps that take a man nowhere towards life and that more abundantly, but by creating a set of steps and rules, man will discover that the harder he tries, the worse off he is, especially in the program of AA.

How can we expect anyone to "grow up" if they are bombarded with the erroneous notion that they must run their lives by a series of steps and sponsor?

The whole model is flawed, from top to bottom.

Jay -- The Proselyte

This guy, Jay, had nothing but smarts mixed with religious arrogance, a man whose conscience was seared with the hot iron of guilt, with no respite, so it seemed, of breaking free.

I cannot begin to recount all the terrible things which he claimed that he had done, but the more that he recounted the things which he had endured, the more that he seemed to be glorying in his shame:

"It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

"And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you." (1 Corinthians 5: 1-2)

This man was proud of what he should have been ashamed of, yet if he had understood the fullness o Christ Jesus' work on the Cross, there would have been no occasion for shame, either, because God has pledged to remember our sins no more (Hebrews 8: 12)

This man reminded me of the proselytes who end up twofold sons of hell.

"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves." (Matthew 23: 15)

They are sincere in their devotion, and they are devoted to the law, which cannot make a man devout, so that he lives in the hell of sin, death, and condemnation while on earth and will miss out on the one who can grant him eternal life, Jesus Christ.

Jay went to CR and AA meetings, and he found himself more and more confused than ever. He would hear about God and Jesus Christ in one set of meetings,  yet in another meeting Jesus was not allowed to be mentioned at all! Talk about confusing.

He ended up getting drunk over and over, unable to break free from the shame that he was in, I am certain. Just as much as he would brag about telling other people how to live their lives, he was so caught up in his own perversions that one wonders how expected to get out of anything in his life.

I hope that Jay is OK, wherever he is. I hope that he has received the gift of "no condemnation" which comes from knowing Christ and Him Crucified in His fullness - not one thing needed on our part!

The Pharisee Element -- Now it Makes Sense

The people in AA and CR meetings cannot help but be Pharisees –they are still under law, still provoking others because at least they do not drink.

Thank God for people like Dorothy, people who got tired of going to meetings because they got tired of the rank hypocrisy. I still remember how she told me that she stopped going to AA meetings because she could not stand listening people who would commit terrible crimes, yet they would boast that "at least" they did not drink for the day."

I remember another guy, Jeff, who wanted to a good Christian, and he wanted to get sober, too, he became a Pharisee – provoking me to my face about something that I had shared in a meeting. He became the most arrogant person in the meeting, sadly.

At the time, I did not understand what was going on. I had gone to these meetings looking for life and help, what I was getting was more hurt and pain. The very people whom I thought would be helping me were actually causing me more pain than the “unsaved” people out there in the world.

This man gave me a hard time about sharing something in a meeting, something from way back when. Where did this guy get the rank audacity to tell me anything, when he could not rub two days of sobriety together?

Now it all makes sense. This man, like many of the people in these Twelve Step programs, became a proselyte, and they may indeed become twice as much sons of hell:

"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves." (Mathew 23: 15)

AA is sadly filled with such tragedy, men and women who are looking for a way out, and instead the program brings them into deeper bondage, scaring them with the evil notion that if they leave, they will start drinking again!

If you are reading this, and you are someone who used to go to AA meetings and have gotten out, please let me know. . .

We need to impress on people in these programs that the life and more abundant which they seek is not found in the "Big Book" but the only Big Book -- The Holy Bible, which witnesses from cover to cover Christ and Him Crucified, He who gives and never taking!

A Great Friend in the Body of Christ -- "Terry"

One guy whom I really looked up to, Terry, was a man who was after so much more in this life. He did not want to settle anymore for any less.

This man shared with me a number of times how he was tired of the life that he was leading. He wanted more , a man who was not afraid to quote God’s Word when times were tough.

It was Terry who ministered grace to me, even after I had the worst day at Hawthorne High School, then I gave one of the best interviews ever. Even the principal had to admit that I had a lot going for me --- in the interview.

Terry was the first person who taught me the importance of getting my mind off of myself and to focus on the truth of God’s Word – God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.

Terry was a great guy, one of the first people who questioned the whole Twelve Step cult – which at the time I was not prepared to do, since I did not see anything wrong with taking my inventory, with trying to make myself better so that I could better serve God and others. At least, this was based on my terrible lack of understanding about the Gospel.

He started getting in touch with other support groups, which then brought him to the celebrated passage of John 8:

“Neither do I condemn thee -- Go, and sin no  more!” (John 8: 11)

Now, the "Little C" Church has got it bass-ackwards- "Sin no more, then we will not condemn you" – but that never changes people – never! The condemnation is no longer there:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8: 1, NIV)

We need the gift of righteousness first, and then the grace of God flows in our lives – Romans 5: 17.

He had learned what I was still struggling to accept – there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Yet because I was so suffused with AA, I could not break away from the idea that I had to keep taking my inventory– at least, for the time being. When  a man has such a conscience of sin in his life, he will find himself getting nowhere, and fast:

"21I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7: 21-24)

Too many people for get the last verse in Chapter Seven:

"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." (Romans 7: 25)

But Terry was already learning about it, and now so have I!

Terry was one of the first men to stop going to those CR meetings. He was not afraid to admit that he was not getting the help that he needed from the Twelve Steps.

He was the first of many who introduced me to the grace of God, the unmerited favor of God almighty.

God has already forgiven us! This gives us the power to forgive and to live!

Terry was always there when I needed to talk to him. He was someone who was interested in sharing the Gospel with others – he was the type who was tired of the hum-drum run-of-the-mill Christian walk which brings so many people into bondage.

I do not know where he is, but I have tried to get in touch with him time and again. Terry figured out something sooner than I did, I believe, because he was not imbibed on the terrible AA program the way that I was.